Until the Lion Speaks, written by life coach, Billy Moore, tells his side of the story that has been overlooked about his confrontation with Simeon High School basketball star Ben Wilson. Moore not only addresses the unfortunate confrontation but also sets out to outline his pedigree, upbringing, experience in prison, and the work he is doing since his release. Billy Moore’s story is about redemption, reconciliation, and how he is impacting the lives of young men to make better decisions in life.
Tammy Gibson: What led you to write a book, and what is the meaning of the title “Until the Lion Speaks”?
Billy Moore: I felt the need to clear up a lot of the negative narrative that defined me as a person based on the magnitude of the mistake that I had made. I was reading an African proverb that says, “Until the lion learns to tell his story, the tale of the hunt will always glorify the hunter.” That proverb spoke to me. It touched me in a way that I can relate. I had to sit back as a 16-year-old kid and be defined by the world’s perception as a horrible individual. That wasn’t who I was. It was a mistake that I had committed, and unfortunately, a young man lost his life which I totally regret. Benji meant a lot to the city of Chicago. Even after his death, how much bigger it meant to have that loss didn’t put me in the most favorable light within the community. So many people had things to say about what took place. I didn’t want that mistake to define me as a person.
I decided to write a book about where I come from, how I grew up, how I was able to overcome the unfortunate situation of going to prison, doing 20 years, and what it takes to be able to survive something like that and then come out and have the need and desire to work with young men, so they don’t end up the way I did.
TG: How was your upbringing as a child?
Billy Moore: It was the normal middle-class southside upbringing of most young kids growing up in the mid-80s. When my family moved to 85th & Bishop, we were the first or second black family to move on that block. Growing up, I had fun in the community. We were a tight-knit family, and I was involved in sports.
The legacy of what Chicago is known for within our community, the gang legacy, started to spread into certain neighborhoods. As I got to a certain age, a young teenager, I got influenced by the gang culture.
TG: In your own words, what happened with you and your encounter with Ben Wilson on November 21, 1984?
Billy Moore: I think it was a situation where it was almost like a perfect storm from what I’ve come to understand years later. Ben Wilson was having a bad day. I was in a state of immaturity at age 16, thinking that carrying a gun could resolve a wrong. I know now that when you carry a gun, you get gun problems. It was an unfortunate confrontation between Benji and me. Benji bumped into me and refused to say excuse me. An argument ensued. A push turned into words that turned into me pulling out a gun, feeling that I had to protect myself. Benji was the biggest human being I’ve ever seen in my life. Benji was 6’8″ inches. At the time, I was 5’6″, 135 lbs. I felt if I didn’t protect myself, maybe he could take the gun from me and kill me. I did what I thought I needed to do at that moment. As we all know now, what happened on that unfaithful day, Benji died due to me shooting him, and I went to prison for 20 years.
TG: During your time in prison, did you have thoughts about what you could have done differently?
Billy Moore: Absolutely. When you think about the mistakes you make, you find yourself paying the most severe consequences. There were several things I could have done differently. The first thing was not being at Simeon with a gun. Had I not had a weapon, it could have turned out differently. People tend to deal with situations a little differently when there are no weapons involved. It wasn’t like I had any false sense of courage. At the same time, I was taking accountability for my actions. Maybe I shouldn’t have been at Simeon. Definitely not carrying a gun at age 16. I wouldn’t have found myself in that situation.
I’ve never tried to downplay my role. I always try to be accountable for my part, and I try not to re-victimize Ben Wilson by talking about what happened that day. It wouldn’t serve Benji or myself any good to try to victim blame him.
TG: Since being released from prison, what obstacles were you confronted with, if any, and blessings that came into your life?
Billy Moore: I wouldn’t say too many obstacles other than having a criminal background. Maybe a few job offers that I knew I couldn’t pursue because of my background. The blessings are that I could push forward and find some success in how my life has been able to turn out to where I can use my experience to help other young men who have had challenges. The margins of which some of these young men exist in our community don’t provide a lot of room to make the mistake that I made.  I have been in these spaces with these young men and try to benefit them from my mistake, so they don’t have to go in that same direction. I know I have touched hundreds of young men. Hopefully, because of me, they have the opportunity to make the right decisions.
TG: You lost your son to gun violence. How did you cope with the loss and allow yourself time to heal?
Billy Moore: When I was in prison, I lost my mother. That was one of the things that I hoped wouldn’t happen while I was in jail. I had to learn how to deal with the loss of my mother. It taught me a certain level of resilience and strength to deal with one of the hardest things any human being would have to deal with. Nobody wants to think about losing their mother. When you have kids, you definitely don’t want to think about losing a child.
When the situation happened between Ben Wilson and me and how the community felt about it, I really wanted people to see me for who I was and not just see me for my mistake.  Unfortunately, people don’t know me. They just know what I did and judged me based on that.
When I lost my son, I had to make a decision at that moment. Would I see the responsible party as people saw me, whether it was a mistake or intentional? How am I going to hold this in my heart? The very moment that I knew my son was dead, I decided I would forgive these young men. I couldn’t be a hypocrite and not be willing to extend forgiveness inside my heart, probably the worst thing that has happened to me, when I know that the same feelings I was feeling at the moment I had created in Benji’s family and in their hearts. The only thing I wanted them to do is to forgive me. I’m a prime example of both sides of the gun.
I hope one day the young men who killed my son realize what they did was wrong, that they can change and be a better person to themselves, family, community and not continue to inflict that type of grief. I have to have love and forgiveness in my heart to do the work that I’m doing to be a productive asset to the community. I can’t be harboring revenge, retribution, and hatred because that was the last thing I want to show towards me.
TG: The Wilson family reconciled with you. Â How did that make you feel, and is there a relationship with the family?
Billy Moore: To understand the type of grief that one feels when you have a loved one murdered, that’s the type of grief that, unfortunately, 600-700 families experience almost every year in Chicago. For those that haven’t experienced it, I pray that they never have to. It was a great feeling to know that I had the opportunity to reconcile with Ben Wilson’s two youngest brothers. I had to sit down and look at these men in their eyes and had to be accountable for what I’ve taken from them, and they forgave me. It was a big relief for me to know that I could make right with Benji’s brothers. If I have the opportunity to meet the young man who killed my son, I would have to have the same type of courage that Benji’s brothers had. I would have to embrace him if he was willing to extend forgiveness to me, even after I have already extended forgiveness towards him.
TG:Â What work are you doing to help young men that are going down the wrong path?
Billy Moore: I work for Chicago Cred, an organization fighting to reduce gun violence in the city of Chicago, led by Arne Duncan, former U.S. Secretary of Education under the Obama Administration and former head of Chicago Public Schools. The organization works with young men in holistic ways by offering employment, vocational training, cognitive behavior therapy, behavioral and mental health therapy, and counseling. Holistically, we are trying to touch the souls of these young men, create hope and show them that there is a better way to live.  Many of these young men have been living in trauma their whole life, and they are hurting.  When you live in trauma and hurt, I believe, hurt people, hurt people. Healed people can learn how to heal people. I’m healing, and I want to extend that way of living to these young men and, hopefully, save lives. I’m glad to be a part of that fight. This is what I do every single day. I dedicate my life to helping young men who are at the highest risk of being victims and perpetrators of gun violence. I want to reduce that rate to zero.
TG: What advice would you give someone to keep them from following the path you took that led to your incarceration?
Billy Moore: Reach for the greatest attribute that we, as human beings, were given, and that is the ability to think. I’ve come to understand that the weakest attribute that we have is our emotions. When we find ourselves in a moment of crisis, instead of reaching for the greatest attributes, sometimes we pull on the weakest, and that’s our feelings. If you feel a certain way, give yourself a little time to think about your feelings. How would you respond to that, and what decision are you going to make that will influence your behavior? This is the advice I try to give these young men. It’s easier said than done. We want to help these young men to hit the pause button in those moments they feel a sense of retaliation. If they think about their decisions or actions, they will have less regret instead of responding to how they feel. Learn how to outthink your feelings.
TG: Where do you see yourself in the future?
Billy Moore: My future is deeply rooted and entrenched in this mission of trying to save as many lives as possible. I love the city of Chicago. I’m all about saving lives. That’s my dedication and mission in life.
Until the Lion Speaks is available on Amazon. To learn about Chicago Cred, go to www.chicagocred.org.
Tammy Gibson is a black history traveler and author. Find her on social media @SankofaTravelher.
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