Why Understanding Intelligent Intimacy is Essential to Relationships

Intimacy or the art of being intimate is a natural part of life. It is often seen as a deep connection that is developed over time with someone. The bond created between people can connect their souls on a level that can bring them so close they become one for a season or a lifetime. In relationships, people experience different forms of intimacy to fulfill the needs or wants of both individuals in hopes of establishing a meaningful connection that will enhance their life. However, there is a level of personal intimacy everyone must encounter to connect with someone.

Genuine intimacy begins with intelligent intimacy. Intelligent intimacy is acquiring knowledge of one’s individual needs to achieve and maintain healthy relationships. It is understanding and meeting your mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional desires and creating an intimate connection with yourself. It teaches independent love and connection, which in turn shows you how to connect with others.

Intelligent Intimacy is a willingness to practice vulnerability and honesty on a personal level. Being vulnerable and honest with yourself forces you to explore your innermost desires that you did not know existed. It gives you permission to heal from past indiscretions and hurts that you have experienced. This leads to a journey that cleanses your soul and opens your emotions to experience a new level of intimacy.


Lacking knowledge of your needs can keep you susceptible to unhealthy relationships. If you are unsure of what you want, need, and deserve, you will spend your days seeking hollow commitments that will not bring about the joy you should experience in relationships. Achieving this level of intimacy requires you to assess and reflect on your emotional shortcomings and acknowledge your fears. You have to be willing to open your heart to yourself and have those candid conversations about what you desire.

Creating Intelligent Intimacy

Intimate bonds take time and coming to terms with what you need internally is a gradual process. Here are a few suggested steps to begin your path to intelligent intimacy:

  1. Be honest about your needs, and do not be ashamed of what they are.
  2. Be open about your needs. Never presume that others know what you want.
  3. Be patient with your process.
  4. Spend time with yourself daily to get to know who you are.
  5. Take a hiatus from relationships that do not allow your needs to be met.

Benefits of Intelligent Intimacy

Intimacy can bring about connections that benefit every type of relationship. Here are a few ways.

  1. It reduces anxiety and builds self-confidence.
  2. It helps you understand how you should be loved.
  3. It helps you understand how to love someone else.
  4. Let’s you recognize and receive intimacy

When you make a conscious effort to connect with yourself, this type of intimacy will enrich your life in more ways you could imagine. Understanding Intelligent Intimacy is essential to every individual involved in any relationship. It creates knowledge of separate needs and brings that knowledge together to create healthy, balanced partnerships.

Liz Lampkin, Contributing Writer

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