#MeToo: What Is Consent and What Is Not!

If there’s any good news around the #metoo revelations, it’s that people are now openly sharing their stories about dealing with sexual assault and misconduct—as well as the physical and mental scars that they have had to carry with them because of those incidents.
Now, it’s more important than ever to go over what is consent, what it looks like and what it sounds like. No more gray areas. It’s time to be cognizant and attentive. No excuses. Talk​ ​to​ ​your​ partner; if your partner is too immature to talk about sex– then your partner is probably too immature to actually be having it. In the illustrious words of Beyonce, “I’m sorry, I ain’t sorry.”
According to the University of Chicago, some endorsed conversational ways to make sure that your partner wants to have intercourse includes: “Can I take your shirt off?” “How do you want me to touch you?” “Do you want to try something new?” ​ ​ ​ ​“What do you like?” “What would you like to do?” Consenting responses “Yes!” “Like this…” *Nodding* “I want you to…” Check in with your partner during intimacy, make sure they’re into it. Foreplay and talking dirty is half the fun anyway. Some conversational pieces include: “Does this feel good?” “Do you like that?” “What do you want next?” Consenting Responses “Yes.” “Keep going.” “ I would like…”
What​ ​Consent​ ​Doesn’t​ ​Look​ ​Like
How a person chooses to dress does not signify whether or not the person wants to have sex. Someone flirting with you doesn’t mean that person wants to have sex with you. Silence is not an indication to keep going, so don’t. Furthermore, it doesn’t matter if you had sex with the person before, it doesn’t matter if that person is considered to be your girlfriend/boyfriend. It doesn’t even matter if the person said yes before engaging in intercourse–if your partner says “No,” “Stop,” “This hurts” *Shakes head* *Physically pulls away,* you no longer have consent. Respect that. Do not try to physically force or intimidate someone into complying to your wishes. Don’t ignore the statements or nods and just keep going. Don’t abuse the power that someone grants you when being emotionally and physically vulnerable to you.
Moreover, being under the influence while being intimate with someone is not an excuse to not respect someone’s wishes. If you or your partner are too drunk to drive, then one, if not both, are too drunk to consent to having sex.
Sex​ ​Etiquette

  • Don’t send nudes unless requested or agreed upon.
  • Disclose your status.
  • When’s the last time you’ve been tested for sexually transmitted infections including HIV? How many partners have you had since you’ve been tested. Do you practice safe sex… Practice safe sex, unless otherwise agreed upon.
  • Don’t say you’re wearing a condom, when you’re not.
  • In general, be clean. Trying to be sexy while ignoring armpit sweat could be a struggle.
  • Don’t just whip it out and hope someone likes it.

Best of luck with your sexual endeavors, just make sure you’re safe and you and your partner consent
 

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