15th Annual Bachelor Breakfast: Black Men Get Real about Love and Relationships

This weekend marked the 15th annual Bachelor Breakfast, Real Men Real-Talk, hosted by Being Single Magazine’s publisher and founder, Bonita Bennett. The gracious host of the event began by stating that the purpose of having this conversation is to better relationships between men and women and to get answers to burning questions women have about why men do what they do.

Love Relationships Chicago DefenderThe virtual event included a panelist of five successful bachelors who shared their candid thoughts about love, dating and  relationships. The event began with introductions of each bachelor and a friendly game of chat-box confessions. Each panelist answered a series of questions about dating deal breakers and intimate experiences.

After introductions, each bachelor, Patrick Shaffer, Cecil Hollar, Runnell Townsend, Carl West, and Padric Scott, were put in the hot seat for a two-hour Q&A with many questions generated from the virtual audience about love, relationships and dating. Some of the question asked were:

  • What are the first date and relationship deal breakers for you?
  • How has dating changed for you during COVID?
  • What are some major qualities you seek in a woman?
  • Should a woman approach a man she’s interested in?
  • Other than physical attributes, what attracts a man to a woman?

Naturally, responses to each question varied, but many of them were the same. For the first date and relationship deal breakers, two of the bachelors agreed that lack of respect for their time is a major barrier to a successful relationship. One further said that many women want a prosperous man but fail to realize the time and effort that goes into a prosperous career. If a woman wants a successful man, she must understand the time he puts into his craft.

A couple of first date deal breakers included someone who lacks a sense of humor and a lady who can’t hold a conversation. The guys stated that communication is vital; they want to laugh with someone and genuinely enjoy time spent with them.

In terms of whether or not COVID-19 has affected their dating lives or relationships, two bachelors stated that it has slightly impacted dating, two are currently involved with one person since the start of the pandemic, and one has taken a hiatus from this social scene.

Now on to the more interesting questions. When the panelists were asked what some of the essential qualities they seek in a woman are, the responses were as follows: God-fearing, a nurturer, someone who’s ambitious, intelligent, energetic yet calm, kind, compassionate, passionate, sexy, and of course a woman with a sense of humor.

Men are physical beings and the outer appearance immediately draws their attention. However, the bachelors shared the things that maintain an attraction and balance out a relationship. Some were; having a great spirit, the ability to communicate, and work together, being able to alleviate the stress of life. Two bachelors agreed that there’s nothing more alluring than a woman they can learn from. One explained that a woman he can come to and get “fed” by merely engaging in conversation with her is one of the best things a woman can offer.

To wrap up the session, one of the last questions asked was whether or not a woman should approach a guy she’s interested in and how can she do this without looking “thirsty.” It was unanimously agreed that if you’re interested in someone, they advised the ladies to “shoot our shot,” but in doing so, be creative and straightforward. For example, send him a drink, strike up an interesting conversation, or simply introduce yourself and state your purpose for approaching him.

These five amazing men were open and honest about what they desire in a woman in relationships. The responses each of them gave were thought-provoking and eye-opening. Ladies, if you’re wondering what attracts and keeps a man with substance, the answer is a woman with equal substance. All who believe the myth that there aren’t any good black men available to have viable and productive relationships with you may want to internally reflect on who you are and what you offer yourself and someone else. Love is out there ladies!

Liz Lampkin is a Lifestyle, Love, and Relationships writer. Follow her on social media @Liz_Lampkin

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