Dear Chat Daddy,
I am a 28-year-old successful Black woman who is engaged to be married this coming fall. Recently I found two numbers along with a female’s name in his pants pocket while doing the laundry. My feelings were automatically hurt because I c
A part of me wants to confront him and end the relationship, but I don’t want to accuse him of something that he might not be doing. Chat Daddy, what should I do? -Hello, I Found Your Numbers In My Man’s Pocket
Dear Hello, I Found Your Numbers In My Man’s Pocket, Slow down with all of your negative feeling about finding the phone numbers. I’m sorry to hear that you are going through this when it should be the happiest time of your life. Ok, while it seems a bit suspicious, I would suggest that you have a talk with your man first before jumping to conclusions. Listen intently to what he has to say and then judge accordingly. Whatever you do, don’t attack him right off the bat. If his explanation doesn’t set well with you, then follow your gut feeling. A relationship has no chance of survival when trust is not the glue that holds it together. Be honest with him and express exactly how this is making you feel. But trust your instincts as well. A woman knows when her man is dipping out. Here’s to you receiving the clarity that you deserve in your relationship and a stress free life. Be encouraged.
Dear Chat Daddy, I am a 36-year-old man who recently traveled out of town to attend my aunt’s funeral. My cousin’s oldest daughter has changed quite a bit since I last saw her about four years ago. She has become very masculine in her appearance: wearing baggy pants, men’s dress shirts and she never wears makeup any more. Her hair used to be long and very beautiful, now she has cut it into a fade and wears men’s cologne. When we were alone, I asked her if she was a lesbian and she has flat out denied it. Chat Daddy, I love my cousin, but if she is indeed a lesbian, I don’t know if I could be as close to her anymore. Please advise. -What’s Up With The Male Swagger?
Dear What’s Up With The Male Swagger?, Your being uncomfortable with this is understandable, but if she is gay, I think distancing yourself from her would be wrong on your part because she is your family. Ok, so the signs are there. Allow her to come to you and come out on her own. Whatever you do, don’t force the issue. She probably feels that you and the rest of the family would treat her differently if she let it be known that she is a lesbian. Regardless of your personal beliefs and feelings, respect her. If this is what makes her happy, then your job is to only be there for her and love her unconditionally. Who she sleeps with is her business and she really isn’t obligated to give anyone an explanation in regards to her life. It does not constitute your loving her as your cousin. If after some time, you find yourself still struggling with it, there are tons of organizations and support groups that you and she can become involved with together to help you with your feelings and concerns. Here’s to you finding peace and acceptance and developing an even closer relationship with your cousin as she lives her life. Be encouraged.
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