When you need some advice don’t ask twice… Ask Dr. Karen!
Dear Dr. Karen:
Last week I had an argument with a young lady I have been seeing for several months. It was about me not returning her texts messages in a timely manner. I told her I would do better and I thought it was over. Since Valentine’s Day is coming up, I want to do something special for her. When I asked what she wanted she said, “Nothing.” I asked her again just to be sure I was hearing correctly and she gave me the same answer.
We are both in our late twenties. I think we are both too old to play these silly high school read between the lines game. I’m going to take her at her word and do nothing. If she is pissed because I didn’t get her anything, then that will be on her. People should say what they mean and mean what they say. If I have to sacrifice one Valentine’s Day to get my point across, I will do it!
~ No Games
Dear No Games:
Getting your point across might leave you love less for real! It seems like she is still upset from your argument and has not recovered yet. Communication with anybody should be clear and straightforward. Unfortunately, everyone does not adhere to that principle.
You shouldn’t have to sort out what a person really means and read between the lines. However, sometimes you have to bite the bullet especially if you are really interested in this woman. I understand that you are not interested in playing mind games. It is difficult when people say they don’t want anything, when in reality they are really expecting something.
Speaking of mind games, here’s one to help you make your decision.
She Said: “I don’t want anything for Valentine’s Day.”
She really means: “I’m still angry but you’d better get me something.”
You heard: “Don’t get me anything.”
What you got her: Nothing
Her reaction: Exactly what you said “pissed off”
The choice is yours!
***Disclaimer “The advice offered in this column is not intended to replace or substitute for any professional, financial, medical, legal, or other professional advice. Dr. Karen January, the newspaper and publisher are not responsible for the outcome or results of following any advice in any given situation. You, and only you, are completely responsible for your actions.” Due to the large number of letters received, there is no guarantee that your question will be published.
Dr. Karen R. January is an expert in youth development as well as male-female relationships. Her new book, ¨Lessons Mama Never Taught Me,¨ profiles 10 women and the mistakes they made in parenting, love and life. It can be purchased at Amazon.com. Please send your questions to Dr. Karen at askdrjanuary@gmail.com.
Visit her website: www.drkaykay.com FB: drkayj Twitter: @drkjanuary
