When You Need Some Advice Don’t Ask Twice… Ask Dr. Karen!
Dear Dr. Karen:
I’m a wife and mother of two boys aged 6 and 9. The problem is my mother. She is a constant complainer and a very negative person, especially toward my kids. Last night I invited her to hang out with the family. All she did the entire time was talk about what the kids were wearing. She asked me did I buy their clothes from the Salvation Army store. For every little thing they said or did she had something to say that was rude and hurtful. My sons were very upset. Her behavior ruined my special evening.
My mother is getting older and my patience is getting shorter. I feel guilty that I don’t want to be around her. My time with her is not enjoyable anymore. How can I establish a better relationship with her? I also want my sons to have a better relationship with their grandmother.
~ Intolerant
Dear Intolerant:
You need to get your priorities straight. You stated that she ruined your special evening. Really? What about the kids? How do you think they felt with the big bad wolf? Your number 1 priority has to be your children’s emotional health and self worth? They should not have to listen to grandma’s nasty comments. Your role as a mother is to protect them.
This doesn’t sound like the first time she has ever acted like this. Let your mother know that you will no longer allow her to insult you or your children. The next time you have a family outing and she says something hurtful to your sons, demand that she apologize. If she refuses, leave the kids with your husband and take grandma home! Come back and enjoy the rest of your evening.
***Dr. Karen R. January is an expert in youth development as well as male-female relationships. Her new book, ¨Lessons Mama Never Taught Me,¨ profiles 10 women and the mistakes they made in parenting, love and life. It can be purchased at Amazon.com. Please send your questions to Dr. Karen at askdrjanuary@gmail.com.
Visit her website: www.drkaykay.com FB: drkayj Twitter: @drkjanuary
***Disclaimer “The advice offered in this column is not intended to replace or substitute for any professional, financial, medical, legal, or other professional advice. Dr. Karen January, the newspaper and publisher are not responsible for the outcome or results of following any advice in any given situation. You, and only you, are completely responsible for your actions.” Due to the large number of letters received, there is no guarantee that your question will be published.
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