Tina Knowles opens up about her Southern roots, raising Beyoncé and Solange, the power of chosen family, and her journey to self-worth in her memoir Matriarch, shared during a moving Chicago appearance moderated by CNN’s Laura Coates (Photo Credit: Marshelle Sanders).
A matriarch is a woman who heads a family, tribe or group.
She is a respected elder woman who holds authority and influence in a family, community or cultural group. She frequently provides guidance, support and wisdom across generations.
Tina Knowles, born Celestine Ann Beyoncé on January 4, 1954 to Lumis Albert Beyincé and Agnéz Deréon, descendants of Louisiana Creoles, embodies that term to the fullest.
On Friday, May 16, she met in Chicago to chat with fans while her famous daughter Beyoncé performed at Soldier Field over the weekend.
Moderated by CNN’s Mrs. Laura Coates, Knowles dished on her new memoir, fittingly titled Matriarch, which offers a personal glimpse into her life as a mother, businesswoman and, yes, a matriarch.
She reflected on her Southern roots in Galveston, Texas, her journey as a mother to Beyoncé, Solange, Kelly Rowland and Angéla Beyincé, and her role in shaping their careers.
Speaking of her origins, Knowles’s surname was initially meant to be “Beyincé,” but a clerical mistake on her birth certificate changed it to “Beyoncé.”
When Knowles asked her mother why she didn’t fix the error, she explained that she once tried but was told just to be thankful to receive a birth certificate, as many Black people hadn’t been given that right in the past. Knowles chose to keep the altered name, eventually passing it on to her daughter.
But she utilized the forum to expound on the people and moments that impacted her and shaped who she is today.
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In her memoir, one noteworthy moment reflects on her upbringing and the influential lessons she learned from her own mother, and also speaks about her complicated relationship with her. She passed away when Knowles was just 26.
“My mom always warned us about the world, but I didn’t understand that her fear was her way of protecting us. It took years for me to see her strength, but now I carry it with me every day,” said Knowles.
Knowles recalled the traumatic night her brother was nearly beaten to death by police. With quiet wisdom and strategic action, her mother secured justice for their family, teaching Knowles the power of grace under pressure.
“My mother, this quiet, composed woman begging them not to kill her brother,” Knowles said. She also talked about her mother’s defiance, recalling a tense encounter with a police officer who taunted her about her brother’s beating.
In her early days as a new mother, she shared the overwhelming fear she felt after the loss of her mother and the birth of her daughter, Beyoncé.
Knowles said, “I was terrified, terrified I’d mess it all up. I often wished to call my mom for advice, only to realize I couldn’t. She was gone.” Despite having a large family, I felt isolated because they had their own lives. It felt like just me and this child, trying to figure it out together.”
As Knowles navigated motherhood, she also faced the transition into entrepreneurship. When Solange was born, Knowles realized she could no longer rely solely on her husband, especially as their marriage struggled.
She had to take action and become financially independent. Despite the love and support from her family, Knowles recognized that rebuilding her life required finding the strength to stand on her own.
Her entry into the business world was driven by necessity and a deep belief in her strength.
“Sometimes, you build from whole cloth. Other times, you build from fragments,” she said, reflecting on her ability to create something beautiful from whatever was available.
This mindset shaped her journey as a mother, a prominent hairstylist in her community, a businesswoman and a fashion designer, teaching her to build a life with what she had and to fiercely protect and uplift her family.
Knowles’s parenting approach centered on honoring her daughters’ individuality, a value her mother had instilled.
“I’ve raised strong, distinct daughters, four of them if you count the women who are family to me beyond blood. Each of them is different. Each of them has defined success in her terms. My job as a mother wasn’t to shape them into the same mold but to honor who they already were.”
As a mother, Knowles believed in letting her children find their way. “They’re not perfect, but I give them space to make mistakes. I made mine. And I wanted them to learn that you can move on, keep going.”
And one of the pillars of her family village was Johnny, her best friend.
“Johnny wasn’t just my best friend; he was my soul mate in the world’s most genuine, expansive sense. He shaped my family, my children and my home. Johnny was such a presence that Knowles felt he had become a part of the family to everyone around him, and she shared that.
Johnny’s influence on the family went beyond love and care; he introduced Knowles and her children to a world of culture and artistry.
“That world of ballroom culture, the drag community, the creativity, the vibrancy, encouraged me to embrace her artistic expression. Johnny was the one who always saw that part of me, celebrated it, and pushed me to lean into it.”
Knowles recalled the joy of helping Johnny prep for drag shows, a space of creativity and fun for their family. “Helping Johnny prep for the balls, working with the queens, sewing, designing, dancing gave me life as a creative woman.”
Tina Knowles on Loss, Love, Legacy, and Letting Go
“I’m just so grateful. Losing Johnny was one of the biggest losses in my life. He saw some success, but I wish he were here to see the legacy he helped build. He always said, ‘They’re gonna know my name,’ and now they do.”
Knowles didn’t shy away when asked about vulnerability, particularly regarding her marriage. Her honesty, rooted in real experience, reflected many women’s struggles. She wanted to be open about it because many women face similar challenges.
“Yes, I was married for 33 years, and not all of it was terrible, we had beautiful times, built businesses, raised kids. But would I stay that long again? No. Many women can relate to waiting longer than they should for love, for the kids, for comfort or sometimes because of low self-worth.
Knowles’s journey to self-discovery and healing has been challenging but deeply spiritual. She says she embraces each day as a gift, a belief instilled in her by her father. She wakes up with gratitude and consciously tries to help others, finding strength and purpose in giving.
Knowles also touched on how fans and strangers have helped her stay grounded.
“People come up to me with the kindest words and beautiful stories. I take pictures and talk with everyone. It’s a blessing. Sometimes my assistant has to drag me out, she laughed, but I truly love people.”
These days, Knowles continues to work, travel and pour love into everything she does. “It took me until I was 70 to feel like I belonged in any room. I’d love to have a partner, but I’m okay if I don’t. I feel whole. I’m not alone.”
Knowles credits that peace to her faith.
“I truly believe I can do everything through Christ. I may not meditate, but I make time for quiet. I check in with myself and try to live a life full of purpose, joy, and love.”
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