The One Thing Every Woman Should Do Right Now
By Sylvia Snowden, Six Brown Chicks
Madeline Albright once said “There’s a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women.” If that’s true, I wonder what’s in store for women who refuse to help themselves.
Ladies, do me a big favor and close your eyes for about five minutes and think about what you really want. What qualities MUST you have in a guy? In a job you want? In the handbag you want to buy? Write those things down. Now, think about the attributes that are absolute deal-breakers. Write those down, too. Once you’ve got your lists, think about your actual life. Does your reality sync with your list?
If it does, fabulous! You go girl!
What I’ve found, however, is that all too often what we say we must have in life and what we actually have, don’t line up with one another. And we do ourselves a major disservice by accepting what we know we don’t want. We knew we were going to hate that job after the first five minutes, but we’ve stayed on for five years. We could sense something about him was off 10 minutes into the first date, yet we endured the relationship with that awful guy longer than we should have.
And I admit it (as much as I really don’t want to), we have to give men credit.
They know upfront what they like, what they’re willing to deal with and what they’re absolutely positively not going to have. And once you do something on their “deal-breaker” list, you’re out.
They don’t care how great the relationship used to be, how much time they put in at that company or how well the car used to run. If it no longer works for them , they’re done. In a relationship once the good feeling’s gone, men are done. And when they’re done… they’re done. And that’s why in the battle of the sexes, men are #WINNING. As women, we need to adopt that same sort of clarity and willingness to walk away, if we really truly want to be happy.
Deep down though, I know why we don’t walk away. I’m clear on how we’re treated. We get gangstered into making bad decisions by people who believe women should prioritize being polite and polished over being prudent.
We get “managed” by people who think women should be less commandeering more compromising. And they use fear to get their way. ”Stop being so bossy, it’s unbecoming; you won’t get very far that way.” “Well, don’t tell him EVERYTHING you really want out of this relationship, you’ll scare him of that way.” “Nobody likes a woman who_______ (just fill in the blank).”
Nobody, man or woman, wants to be hated and lonely, so what do we do when we find ourselves in a bad spot? Do we help ourselves? Heck no! We sabotage ourselves for the sake of keeping the peace! And yes, the importance of peace shouldn’t be underestimated, but what good is preserving the peace, if you’re at war on the inside? DON’T DO IT TO YOURSELF! Forget other people’s opinions.
So you know that feeling; the little ping you get that warns you something probably isn’t for you? Help yourself out and don’t ignore it! When it hits you, take the hint. Leave the bum dude alone, start plotting your exit at that miserable job, stop hanging around that girl you suspect secretly hates on you. Help you and I guarantee life will help you back.
Follow Sylvia on Twitter @TrulySylvia
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