Marriage has often been touted as a potential “wealth cheat code,” a way for two average income earners to become a financial powerhouse when they combine forces. For instance, consider a couple where one partner makes $63,000 and the other earns $54,000. Individually, they are average earners, but together, their combined income reaches $117,000, transforming them into a six-figure household. But is marriage truly a financial advantage? When I shared this idea on social media, the post sparked a heated debate, highlighting just how divisive this topic can be.
The comments from my social media post revealed a range of perspectives. Some people expressed deep skepticism about marriage being a wealth cheat code. One person wrote, “That’s exactly what the government and businesses are banking on. It’s a cheat code for everyone but the guy when, in 10 years, she files for divorce and takes half + alimony + child support.” Another added, “A cheat code after the one-sided divorce.” The fear of divorce and the potential financial consequences is very real, especially when marriages end with one partner facing a heavy financial burden.
Others questioned the practicality of two incomes making a difference. One user commented, “Today that’s still broke. Most bills increase, so it’s not as good as it sounds.” With rising living costs, especially for things like housing and childcare, even a six-figure income might not stretch as far as it used to. This sentiment underscores the need for smart financial planning even when incomes are combined.
The conversation also touched on the complexities of shared finances. One person observed, “Not when one chooses not to help… his money is their money, but her money is her money.” Another user offered a practical tip: “Never combine your income. Three bank accounts: yours, hers, and a joint bank account.” These comments highlight the challenges of managing money together, especially when one partner may feel the financial responsibilities aren’t shared equally.
Another set of insightful comments brought up the importance of values and effort in a marriage. One reader wrote, “Usually bitter folks that fail to keep God first, fail to communicate and be transparent, fail to rebuke any advances re: infidelity. Also usually the same ones who play victim after the relationship ends. JMO tho.” Another added, “They need to read, then reread, then go back and reread your last statement… ‘CHOOSE THE RIGHT PARTNER.’ That’s on ALL fronts, not just financially. If you choose a morally corrupt partner, expect morally corrupt behavior. If you select a broke and uncompromising partner, expect that same behavior.” Lastly, a commenter emphasized the importance of commitment: “If people put the effort into KEEPING a marriage, this scenario wouldn’t be an issue.”
This debate is particularly relevant in the Black community, where at least 60 percent of Black households are led by single women, many of whom struggle financially. This statistic emphasizes the economic impact of not having a second income or partner to share financial responsibilities. Marriage, when approached strategically and with the right partner, has the potential to change this dynamic and offer a pathway to greater financial security.
To harness the financial advantages of marriage, it’s essential to be equally yoked financially. This means sharing values, goals, and financial priorities. According to the National Center for Family & Marriage Research, the current divorce rate in the U.S. is 39 percent, and money issues remain a leading cause of marital strife. Is it irreconcilable differences causing turmoil in the relationship, or inability to reconcile the budget? Financial disagreements often stem from clashing values or spending habits, highlighting the importance of financial alignment.
Here are some steps couples can take to become equally yoked and make marriage the financial asset it promises to be:
- Now We Are ONE: The Census Bureau, The IRS and The Bible considers you to be one economic unit. Marriage means you are on the same team. Use pronouns like “we,” “ours,” and “us.” One spouse’s struggle is the other spouse’s struggle, and one partner’s gain is a shared victory. Embrace the mindset that your financial fates are tied together.
- Avoid Financial Infidelity: Be financially transparent. No secret accounts, hidden purchases, or undisclosed debts. Agree on major spending decisions, like anything over $500, to maintain trust and accountability.
- Be a Life Mate, Not a Roommate: Marriage isn’t just about sharing space; it’s about sharing responsibilities. Both partners should be engaged in household and financial duties. Even if you divide tasks, each spouse should know the overall financial picture.
- Love Is Taxing: Sacrifice is often necessary. The tax you pay for love is compromising or delaying some of your personal goals for the greater good of the family. Both partners must be willing to support each other’s financial dreams.
- A House Divided Cannot Stand: Have regular discussions about your financial goals, concerns and plans. Make sure both partners have a voice and a vote. Create a roadmap that addresses both of your needs and sets a clear path for achieving them.
In conclusion, while marriage has the potential to be a wealth cheat code, it requires careful planning, open communication, and a shared commitment to financial stability. If couples are willing to adopt these steps and work together as a team, marriage can indeed transform their financial future. The key is to choose the right partner, communicate openly, and remain committed to your shared goals. With the right foundation, marriage can be more than just a romantic union—it can be a powerful financial partnership.
(Damon Carr, Money Coach can be reached @ 412-216-1013 or visit his website @ www.damonmoneycoach.com)