When You Need Some Advice Don’t Ask Twice… Ask Dr. Karen!
***To all my on-line readers, I would like to thank each and everyone of you for your continued support and your comments are appreciated.
Dear Dr. Karen:
I caught my husband cheating six months ago. We have been through counseling but it still haunts me. What’s bothering me is that I am always wondering if he will ever do this again. He continues to beg for forgiveness and wants to be romantic again. The thought of him touching me makes me sick. Knowing that he was with another woman is a real turnoff.
I continue to find myself asking him if he is cheating with someone else and his answers are always vague. What can I do to get past this?
Your husband needs a mop so he can clean up his mess. He needs to terminate contact with all people, sites, services and apps that might be connected to his cheating behavior. Don’t hesitate to have him show you that these tasks have been completed.
You are entitled and have every right to ask about his whereabouts and proof at any time if you feel warranted. However, it is not healthy for you to make a full-time job of monitoring your husband. It will not control his behavior.
Thoughts of your husband being with another woman are not easy. He must first rebuild your trust before you can be comfortable with having sex again. He has also placed your health at risk. STDs are no joke. Get tested!
The difficulty staying with a cheater is that you have to continually convince yourself that he won’t do again. I can’t tell you whether to stay or go. You must decide what is in your best interest and determine if you are able to overcome the betrayal.
Food for thought: Do you think a spouse that cheats has a right to demand their whereabouts at all times? What do you think?
***Dr. Karen R. January is an expert in youth development as well as male-female relationships. Her new book, ¨Lessons Mama Never Taught Me,¨ profiles 10 women and the mistakes they made in parenting, love and life. It can be purchased at Amazon.com. Please send your questions to Dr. Karen at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Visit her website: www.drkaykay.com
Disclaimer “The advice offered in this column is not intended to replace or substitute for any professional, financial, medical, legal, or other professional advice. Dr. Karen January, the newspaper and publisher are not responsible for the outcome or results of following any advice in any given situation. You, and only you, are completely responsible for your actions.” Due to the large number of letters received there is no guarantee that your question will be published.