When You Need Some Advice Don’t Ask Twice… Ask Dr. Karen
Dear Dr. Karen
I started dating a woman several months ago. We see each other about three times a month. I am away in college working on my Master’s degree. She works full time as a clerical secretary. I thought we were getting closer in our relationship but lately, she has become very critical by finding faults in me. She told me last week that I was too quiet, too shy, too short and other insulting comments about my looks and .
When I put some distance between us, she apologizes and I take her back. Then,we go through the same thing over again. Normally, I wouldn’t take this from a woman but she is drop dead gorgeous. She can have any man she wants but she chose me.
Sometimes I wonder if she is just jealous that I’m a college student and she is stuck at home in an unhappy job situation. I’m trying to figure out if she dislikes me so much why does she stay?
~ Disgusted
Dear Disgusted:
She may be a beauty but she’s acting like a booty. This little diva knows she looks good and she uses this to manipulate the men in her life. Guess what? You’re one of them. She will continue to insult you because you have allowed it. She knows she can get away with it.
She criticizes you to make herself feel worthy. It’s possible she might be resentful because you are in college to ensure a better lifestyle whereas; hers may be a dead end. I see a disturbing pattern here. She insults you, you leave, she apologizes, you take her back and here we go round and round. This is called the cycle of abuse.
She is miserable and takes pleasure in making you suffer with her. If looks are all you’re interested in then stay. If you want brains and beauty then drop this loser. You deserve better.
***Disclaimer “The advice offered in this column is not intended to replace or substitute for any professional, financial, medical, legal, or other professional advice. Dr. Karen January, the newspaper and publisher are not responsible for the outcome or results of following any advice in any given situation. You, and only you, are completely responsible for your actions.” Due to the large number of letters received, there is no guarantee that your question will be published.
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