In sharing with friends about the controversial topic “spare the rod spoil the child,” it was discovered that many of us grew up in an era where spanking was the dominant method for disciplining children. It seems that African Americans were infamous for beating their children to straighten them out. Granny used a switch (a thin branch from a tree), Pop-Pop used his belt, and countless Mamas used the palms of their hands. They would tear our tails up, then throw in some reverse psychology saying it was necessary, and it hurt them more than it hurt us.
Old school parents did not hesitate to correct their children. It was their way or the highway. As we reminisced about all the whippings we endured over the years, the stories were hilarious, to say the least. All in all, we knew our parents acted out of love. Even though our butts would be sore for days, we’d fully comply out of respect and because it was our wrongdoing that brought on the whipping and not anger from an abusive parent. One gentleman told the story of how his father tied him up with his hands above his head and beat him black and blue. He admitted he was spiraling out of control headed for the penitentiary. In fact, his two best friends, at ages 16 and 17, received 20-year sentences for robbing and murdering a taxicab driver. If his parents had not been the disciplinarians that they were, he would have been with them and guilty by association.
The posture of today’s parents leans towards emotional stability. In their perspective, corporal punishment is abusive and teaches violence. They want to raise children in a non-violent way, instructing them on good decision making. Psychologists, educators, politicians, and the media have brainwashed them to think that corporal punishment does more harm than good. Therefore, they prefer implementing reasonable time outs.
Well, according to the Child Development Institute, time out means time out from positive reinforcement. In other words, no rewards for a period of time. It is a procedure used to decrease the undesirable acts of our children. Here are their guidelines: children from 2 to 5 years old should receive a two- to five-minute timeout; 6 to 8 years old, five minutes; 8 to 10 years old, 10 minutes; 10 to 14 years old, 10 to 20 minutes. Now, if the older ones are too big for time out, removing their electronics is recommended.
I concur things have changed; not every child requires a spanking to redirect their behavior. In some cases, a time out gets the job done. However, with this generation, we have to go back to some old ways of parenting. For it is written in Proverbs 13:24, “He that spares the rod hates his son; but he that loves him corrects him early in good time.” The word “rod” in Hebrew is shebet, used for describing a shepherd’s staff, which is a slender stick, not a lethal weapon. The meaning of this proverb is correction comes from loving your children, desiring their best, and being selfless enough to do whatever it takes to keep them on the right path. It’s more than mushy sentiments because foolishness is bound in the heart of a child, as stated in Proverbs 22:15, but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him. If the concept of time out, invented over 60 years ago, was sufficient enough to correct a child’s behavior, we would see a different generation.
When your children need tough love, spank their butts and don’t give a care about their crying. Realize you are saving them from poor decisions, dire consequences, and mass destruction. Your correction is not because they are bad, but because you are a good parent who loves them enough to save them from themselves.
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