You’ve set goals for yourself, only to have them deferred, stomped on or watered down. You’ve looked for others to bring you through without realizing the onus is on you. Developing a “no matter what” mindset is the key to “non-negotiabl
You’ve set goals for yourself, only to have them deferred, stomped on or watered down. You’ve looked for others to bring you through without realizing the onus is on you. Developing a “no matter what” mindset is the key to “non-negotiable” goals, according to life coach and best-selling author Lisa Nichols.
Nichols remembered when all her goals were negotiable, starting back in her high school years. She learned in her teen years to love herself first, realize that mistakes would be made, but to forgive herself.
As she matured and began to gain more control of her life, a “no matter what” mindset was born, she said, referring to the title of her recently released book.
“It was understanding what my life looked like when all my goals were negotiable, when all my goals were optional. It was recognizing how I felt when I sat in the space of worry, doubt, victim and concern. It didn’t feel good and I wasn’t ready to commit a lifetime to that experience,” Nichols told the Defender.
Nichols, the founder of Motivating the Masses and CEO of Motivating the Teen Spirit, LLC, is described by her peers as “The Breakthrough Specialist.” She regularly holds transformational workshops that has reached more than one million adults and thousands of teens. She has appeared on various television shows, including The Oprah Winfrey Show, Extra, Larry King Live, and Starting Over, and has penned two Chicken Soup for the Soul books.
In December she will spread more of her motivational advice on the Women Entertainment cable channel. Her new weekly, yet-to-be titled reality-based show will center around helping women turn a breakdown into a breakthrough. Several episodes have already been shot, she said.
“Most of us don’t realize that we’ve unconsciously allowed our goals to be negotiable and optional. A ‘no matter what’ mindset means you’ve taken every other option off the table except hitting the mark. When you take on that mindset, you actually begin to pick up speed, you move with more velocity. You move with more certainty and more aggression. It’s a positive aggression and you become a force of nature to be reckoned with,” said Nichols.
Always following God is key, however, realizing the power you possess and knowing you are the answer to your problems is essential to any breakthrough, the life coach said, referencing an “ah-ha” moment in her life.
“Each time I looked at my problems, I looked for the answer and realized that I was my answer. When I learned how to love Lisa, treat Lisa and set boundaries and ask for what I need, all of a sudden I became an example. I became a permission slip for other girls to do it. I found my own rhythm, and when I did I felt better as a teenager and as a woman,” she said.
“My rhythm was mine and it was perfect. That was a huge liberation for me. I had to give myself permission to make mistakes and to forgive myself quicker. That was key for me. I wasn’t going to hold myself hostage to guilt, shame, blame and regret. That could last a lifetime. I had to be willing to give myself a lifetime of something better than that,” said Nichols.
Nichols will host a workshop in Chicago Saturday from 8 a.m. to 3 p.m. at the Marriott hotel near Midway Airport, 6520 S. Cicero Ave.