Dear Chat Daddy,
I’m a 36-year-old divorced male and the father of four children that my ex-wife and I have joint custody of. During our nasty divorce proceeding, she requested that the judge would grant her the maximum amount of child support from my
During the visit my oldest son who is 16 years old told me that he was dropping out of school and was getting a job to help his mother pay bills and buy food. I was so shocked that I became unnerved over his comment. He told me that his mother said I was not doing enough and that they would become homeless if she does not get more money coming in from me. Why would the mother of my children turn on me like this? Please advise.
-She’s Trying To Get Blood From A Turnip
Dear She’s Trying To Get Blood From A Turnip,
Your ex-wife is hurt, bitter and should know better. She should stop putting your children in the middle of grown folks’ mess. Calmly explain to your ex-wife that involving them in your disagreements is causing them to be affected emotionally and psychologically and that’s not good.
Then take the proper time to have a heart to heart talk with your children about what is going on. Explain the situation to them without any resentment, excuses or hostility. Tell them that “your daddy will always take care of you; and you don’t have to worry about food or bills” while reassuring them that you love them.
Children tend to say and do what they think their parents need to hear and see. Your children getting a good education and learning how to be productive in life is the number one thing that should be on their minds. You may also want to consult your attorney if she keeps up with her “deadbeat dad” allegations. Here’s to you and yours having nothing but endurance and positive energy during the good and bad times. Be encouraged.
Dear Chat Daddy,
I’m a 27-year-old female from the South Side who is a recent college graduate with a degree in business and I’m working at my dream job. I’m writing you because I’m really concerned about my ex-boyfriend whom I dated for over two years and thought was going to be the one for me. But he just snapped out of the blue on me one day. When we first met he was ambitious, employed, outgoing and talking about how much he wanted to marry me.
Well Chat Daddy in the last six months of our relationship he lost his job, became homeless and started following me around like a lost puppy. The reason why I had to break up with him was because he became way too demanding and controlling in our relationship.
When ever I tried to offer him some help or assistance with his issues, he would tell me that he was the man and that I should follow his lead and rules. He then started calling me at work at least eight or more time a day, he would come by my house unannounced and he told one of my male friends that he was trying to get me pregnant, so that I would quit my job to take care of him. I feel really bad about our break up but Chat Daddy I’ve worked too hard on making something of myself only to lose it all over someone who just gave up and will not accept honest help and advice from me. Please advise.
-Should You Run When Your Loving Suggestions Turn Confrontational?
Dear Should You Run When Your Loving Suggestions Turn Confrontational?,
When we invest our time, energy and efforts into the one we love, we hope that they will honor us by offering us a healthy dose of reciprocity in return. Actually my heart goes out to your guy because it seems to me that he’s in need of counseling to help him to deal with what’s going on in his life. Your moving on was smart.
When you are working on improving yourself often times people become jealous of your success and are not always on the same page when it comes to surviving. In order to move on from a no-good, emotionally abusive relationship, you must count your blessings as you gracefully walk away. Stop looking back on what possibilities the relationship could have had if you stayed.
Often times when a break up is this intense and emotionally draining you must take care of your mental well-being first by pulling yourself back together again. I tell people all the time; the moment the relationship is over you should take on a n upward and onward attitude of moving away from your ex while wishing them nothing but the best in their journey of finding themselves in the process. Be encouraged.
Art Sims’ Dear Chat Daddy runs twice a week in the Chicago Defender.
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