Love in Quarantine

Socializing as we know it has changed. Date nights, nightlife, day parties, and an all-time favorite brunch have become things of the past for the moment. However, people have been resilient in creating ways to remain social. Many have resorted to virtual socializing; others have found solace in individual activities. While everyone is finding ways to entertain themselves on an individual basis or in groups, many couples have reconnected by discovering old and new ways to keep the fire blazing in their relationships.

In an interview with Nick and Latice Nicholson, they provided practical tips and sound advice for couples to maintain romance while experiencing an unusual level of proximity. The two have been happily married for twenty-four years and share three children. Nick, an IT Director at Truman College and an active DJ, Latice, an Assistant Principal, are the creators of a Private social media group designed to connect with like-minded married couples to support each other on their journey through this ministry.

As the interview began, I asked the couple what they believe are the key elements of a healthy relationship. They said they attribute their marriage to having mutual respect and an unending support for each other. Not only this, but each of them was fortunate enough to witness solid commitments from their parent’s marriages. Nick and Latice also say they are friends. They are able to laugh and have fun with each other.

In wrapping up their response to this question, the couple stated that commitment to each other in their relationship is critical, but most importantly, remembering the spiritual commitment they made before God.

When asked how they maintained romance before and after the pandemic, the couple said they scheduled regular date nights, sent each other love notes, texted each other while at work, and hung out to enjoy each other’s company. Now they have virtual date nights with couples from their church, have cozy dinners at home, go for walks, and have movie nights.

As the two continue to date each other while following shelter in place orders, Nick jokingly stated that the most important thing they do is stay out of each other’s way. He continued to say,

” During the pandemic, you have to give each other space, especially if you’re in the house together. Not in a way to retreat from the other person but to give yourself some me-time. Every now and then, you have to let them (your mate) do them.”

Latice added that she believes romance is essential to relationships. She stated that you have to date and romance your spouse. She recalls putting a love note in her husband’s lunch bag, but somehow, he overlooked it and threw it away. Rather than giving up on the idea, she made adjustments to the gesture and placed it in another spot in his bag to ensure he saw it.

As the interview ended the Nicholson’s’ offered this advice to couples who may be struggling to find their way back to romance during this time:

1. Still set up date nights. It will help you remember why you fell in love.
2. Hang out with other married couples.
3. Take a break from the outside world to reconnect. Sit in silence with each other or engage in conversation. Whatever you decide to do, make sure you do it together to regain the focus of your relationship and reconnect.
4. Always remember your why. It is key to remember why you started together so you can stay together.
5. Create a peaceful space where the two of you can bond.
6. Marriage is a partnership. When you get married, you become one.

Heart Check

For couples who are experiencing difficulties during this time, take a moment to refocus your mental state and emotions and take the sound advice of this experienced couple. Be sure to remember why you fell in love and why you want to stay in love. Last, always protect and pray for you and your mate’s hearts, for everything you do for each other flows from it.