Dear Chat Daddy, I am a 28-year-old man with a problem. I have been in an on-again-off-again relationship with the mother of my two children for the past 12 years. Every time I ask to marry her she comes up with an excuse for getting married.
Because of her, we are on the skids again. Just recently, I met a beautiful woman who works in a different department at my job and we’ve become fast friends. I am very much attracted to her and the chemistry is off the hook. I am beginning to have strong feelings for her and am thinking about becoming exclusive. All of a sudden, my children’s mother decides that she wants to work things out now that I am trying to move on from the toxic relationship. Please advise. -Deal Or No Deal On The Baby Momma Drama
Dear, Deal Or No Deal On The Baby Momma Drama, Wow. It seems to me that you have some emotional sorting out to do. I would suggest that you and your new interest have a sit down in which you let her know what is exactly going on. The worst thing in the world to do is lead her on and involve her in what seems to be a talk show episode situation.
Be honest with her by telling her that you have a lot of baggage from your past relationship. In terms of your children’s mother, do an assessment of your relationship. Ask yourself if it is worth all the heartache and confusion. But if you know for sure that you are still dealing with emotions for your children’s mother, I think it would be best for you to back away from the current relationship. Take time to heal and focus on being a good father for your children. Who knows, if it is meant to happen, you and the young lady can reconnect. Here’s to you gaining clarity and moving on to a more stable relationship.
Dear Chat Daddy, I am a gay woman who has been in a sixmonth relationship with a woman who has not completely come out of the closet yet. When we are in public, she never wants to show any type of affection towards me and it is beginning to make me feel as if she doesn’t care. When I discuss my feelings with her, she tells me to not take it personally and that it has nothing to do with our relationship or me. Recently, I’ve noticed that she is beginning to flirt with men right in front of me and I don’t know how to handle it. I am extremely jealous. I think that she’s cheating on me and I tried confronting her with this, but she blows me off. I love her so much and I just bought a ring because I want to propose to her. But I cannot shake this feeling that she doesn’t love me the same. What should I do? – My Love Feels As If There Is No Future
Dear My Love Feels As If There Is No Future, Wow. How unfortunate that you are going through this with someone you are considering sharing your life with. But let me ask you this: Why would you consider committing to her if you are picking up vibes that she does not feel the same way about you? Your girlfriend may be going through a lot, and coming out probably makes her feel uncomfortable.
It sounds as if she is not fully comfortable with her sexuality and may be still trying to figure out who she is and what is best for her. Talk to her. Ask where the relationship is headed. I also think that you should take a step back from the relationship and seriously ask yourself if you want to proceed with someone who is unsure of you and your involvement. But depending on your talk with her, things will be crystal clear to you as to whether or not you want to continue on or walk away. Be encouraged.
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