When You Need Some Advice Don’t Ask Twice… Ask Dr. Karen!
Dear Dr. Karen:
My mother and father in law take care of our three children. We pay them $400.00 a month and they have been doing this for six years. The problem is my mother-in-law. She is overbearing and opinionated. She runs over my husband and me. I am ready to fire her and put them in after school programs. It will cost us less of what we are paying them now.
When I brought this to my mother-in-law’s attention she argued that she does not approve of them being with strangers. She has convinced us that we need to continue our services with her. I have reached my limit. I am tired of her telling me what’s best for our children. How can I settle this?
~ Babysitter Blues
Dear Babysitting Blues:
Don’t be mad at your mother-in-law. The problem is not with her. It is with your husband and he is not going to turn on his mother. Most men could care less about their mother and wife battling for position in the household.
In order to resolve this problem you need to have a strategy. You have to always think smart to out fox the fox. Let your husband know that the move to an after school program is a good idea because you will save money. Tell him it will minimize the friction between you and his mother and you also believe that the children are old enough to experience other environments. Social interaction with their peers is important for their social emotional growth.
By saving money, he will be able to purchase something that he is interested in. You could suggest a home theater, a weekend trip or a sports event. This will get him on your side. If all else fails “You know where to put your foot……… Down!” Gotcha!
***Dr. Karen R. January is an expert in youth development as well as male-female relationships. Her new book, ¨Lessons Mama Never Taught Me,¨ profiles 10 women and the mistakes they made in parenting, love and life. It can be purchased at Amazon.com. Please send your questions to Dr. Karen at askdrjanuary@gmail.com.
Visit her website: www.drkaykay.com FB: drkayj Twitter: @drkjanuary
***Disclaimer “The advice offered in this column is not intended to replace or substitute for any professional, financial, medical, legal, or other professional advice. Dr. Karen January, the newspaper and publisher are not responsible for the outcome or results of following any advice in any given situation. You, and only you, are completely responsible for your actions.” Due to the large number of letters received, there is no guarantee that your question will be published.
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