Dear Chat Daddy,
I’m a 43-year-old employed single Black male who’s in great physical shape. I recently met a very nice young woman who is 32 years old, smart and outgoing, but she is heavier than I would like her to be and she wears twists i
Dear Chat Daddy, I’m a 43-year-old employed single Black male who’s in great physical shape. I recently met a very nice young woman who is 32 years old, smart and outgoing, but she is heavier than I would like her to be, and she wears twists in her hair. She is not the normal type of woman that I would consider for marriage, but I’m at the point now where I would like to settle down and get married. I really think that she would make a wonderful wife, however, her size does concern me. I’m a little nervous because she has a great personality, and I love spending time with her. Please advise. -Unsure Of the Thick Sista
Dear Unsure Of the Thick Sista, Well, brother, how noble of you to want to enter into marriage at this point in your life. But I want to be the first to tell you that looks can be deceiving. We are so quick to judge each other just because of looks. If indeed she is great in certain ways but maybe different in others, then that is OK because opposites do attract. I can see that she is a very stylish person, and it is her personal preference to wear her crown the way she sees fit. It is also apparent that her health may or may not be an issue. I would suggest that you start off by having a heart-to-heart with her. Tell her that you love her while trying to find ways that you can support each other. I’m sure the two of you can work out together. I’m sure that she would be open to that. However, if she is not, you may need to ask yourself whether or not you could deal with her being a plus size beauty. Here’s to the two of you finding a common ground and being happy in the process. Be encouraged.
Dear Chat Daddy, I’m a married woman with three young sons. I’m trying to get my husband and sons to attend church more often, but my husband is definitely not a church-going guy. To make matters worse, he’s turned my sons away from Christian values by saying, “too much religion will make them soft.” I am beside myself, and it is beginning to tear my family apart–literally. Please help. -A Choice Between God and Our Sons
Dear A Choice Between God and Our Sons, How unfortunate that this has happened. I am deeply sorry for what you and your family are going through. I would suggest that you and your husband have a serious discussion about this matter. Nowadays, it’s so important that our young people are taught a sense of spirituality because it will aid in them learning honor and respect and in character building. Why is your husband so down on religion, and what were his religious views before the two of you got together in the first place? This is one of the primary reasons why most relationships fail: different religious faiths and/or beliefs. The two of you need to reevaluate whether or not you want to stay together, work on this dilemma and reestablish things. There is nothing worse than being with someone who is unequally yoked with you. Family counseling may not be a bad idea either. Here’s to the two of you coming to a happy medium without your family being destroyed in the process. Be encouraged.
Art “Chat Daddy” Sims can be reached via e-mail at chatdaddy@chicagodefender.com.
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