Dear Chat Daddy, I put on a few pounds

Dear Chat Daddy,
I am a 34-year-old woman with a lot going for herself. My professional and spiritual life is wonderful, but there is one problem: my weight. I recently gained a tremendous amount of weight and it is really out of control.

Dear Chat Daddy, I am a 34-year-old woman with a lot going for herself. My professional and spiritual life is wonderful, but there is one problem: my weight. I recently gained a tremendous amount of weight, and it is really out of control. I really want to tackle the problem and live a healthier lifestyle, but it is hard for me to become a gym member because I really cannot afford that. How can I lose weight without worrying about the cost of a gym membership? Please advise.

-Wanna Be A Slim Goodie

Dear Wanna Be A Slim Goodie, Sister, you are in luck! There are tons of things that you can do to help yourself in this life changing process. First of all, I would suggest that you visit your doctor so that your doctor can refer you to an excellent nutritionist to help assist you in your journey. I am sure that if you would just change a few of your eating habits, like stop drinking soda and cut down on sugars, you would be headed in the right direction. You could always work out at home by doing variations of full body exercises in the comfort of your living room or bedroom. Walking, bike riding and even roller skating are excellent cardiovascular workout alternatives that actually provide great results.

The key of course is steady and continuous focus, motivation and discipline. Also, there are tons of various dance classes like stepping or slides that you can partake in and make your experience vital, healthy and extremely enjoyable all while the pounds just melt away. Here’s to you implementing a more active and healthy lifestyle and transforming into the new and improved better you! Be encouraged.

Dear Chat Daddy, I am an openly gay male seeking your advice on my current relationship. My boyfriend of three years and I both share the same desires and goals for being in a committed relationship, but he is not out to his parents yet, and it upsets me. We live together, and I have integrated him into my life fully. Every time I address my issue of wanting to meet his parents, he changes the subject. I told him that he is too old (45 years old) to continue to be hiding about being gay from his family. Chat Daddy is there a way to save this relationship?

-Trapped In The Closet

Dear Trapped In The Closet, Great letter, my brother. I can see that you clearly care for this guy, but if he is not willing to live within a certain level of openness by telling his parents, then he’s not being honest. He must be willing to take this step for himself. It seems to me he is not willing or is not able to reciprocate the love you are seeking. If he fears coming out, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but the relationship will not work.

The issue of “outness” is a very sore spot in our community, but this is the biggest reason why gay relationships fail. If your boyfriend is indeed gay but not out to his family, then you need to have a frank talk with him about the dynamic of his relationship with his parents. Some people have an extremely hard time coming out to their parents because they feel that the parents will not accept them for various reasons.

Begin the conversation by telling him that you want to move the relationship forward. Stress to him the importance of you both being on the same page with working on how you are going to execute his coming out. It’s also important to discuss how you both want to appear to your friends, family and coworkers. A healthy and loving relationship that is filled with the same desires and goals should have no problem letting everyone know what a loving relationship looks like openly.

Art “Chat Daddy” Sims can be reached via e-mail at chatdaddy@chicagodefender.com.