Commentary: Is ‘Baby Mama’ Baggage Inevitable With Age?

Photo by Elev8
Photo by Elev8

Beauty shops — and even some barber shops — are buzzing about Dwyane Wade’s newest baby mama drama.
Wade has a new baby who was born on November 10, 2013 – about six weeks before Wade proposed to actress Gabrielle Union, who he’s been dating since 2009. Wade says the child was born during a time when he and Union were separated.
After the baby news was revealed, Wade acknowledged the claims to the Florida Sun Sentinel.
“I had a time, a part in our break, in our pain and our hurt, a blessing came out of it in my life, having a son that was born healthy. So I’m moving on” Wade said.
Now, since comedian Damon Wayans Jr. was revealed as the father of the other two children of Wade’s new baby mama, Aja Metoyer, the set of high-profile circumstances raises this question for the nation’s single black women: Is baby mama drama inevitable as black women get older and consider settling down with black men with children?
And is the baggage worth it?
Consider Wade’s recent engagement to actress Gabrielle Union. Wade, the Miami Heat star, is already raising two sons, Zaire and Zion Wade, from his marriage to Siohvaughn Funches, from whom he split in 2007, in addition to a nephew, Dahveon Morris.
Funches, by all accounts, has acted crazed and hysterical at times and has been a thorn in the side to Wade – and could be a headache for Wade for many years to come.
Last summer, for example, Funches took to the streets of Chicago to air her frustrations with the court system and her ex-husband.
Funches-Wade sat outside of Chicago’s Daley Center on July 19 with a sign that read, “NBA Miami Heat star, mother of his children on the streets.” She told reporters and passers-by that she was dissatisfied with the way the court and Judge Thomas Carr were handling the distribution of marital assets.
“Dwyane Wade is offering to pay only some of what he owes me if I sign an agreement never again to discuss what happened in our marriage or with our children. I refuse,” she told the Chicago Sun-Times.“I finally told Carr I just wanted to end the case and keep my freedom and my voice. I told him I didn’t want anything from Dwyane. The judge demanded the trial continue. I couldn’t believe it.”
And she never passes up an opportunity to take a public dig at Wade.
So for many black women, who are getting older, who meet men they may want to marry, is it worth it to get serious about a man with a child – or children?
I’m just asking the question. There are many relationships that are working nicely with stepmothers across America – and there are many that are absolute hell.
I am not passing judgment on Wade or Union. I’m simply suggesting that as black women get older, there’s a greater chance of meeting a black man with a child from a previous marriage or relationship.
For some black women, dating a man with a child – or children – could be a deal-breaker in a new relationship.
Meanwhile, Gabrielle Union seems to have moved past the baby-mama drama. She and Wade spent last week in the Bahamas partying with friends.
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