When You Need Some Advice Don’t Ask Twice… Ask Dr. Karen!
Dear Dr. Karen
A very close friend of mine has been dating an athlete for the past two years. He is expected to be drafted into the NFL in April. The problem is he controls her every move. He wants to know where and what she is doing constantly. She does whatever he tells her to do and when to do it. Not only that, he lies to her. He tells her she is the only one in his life. I know personally, this is not true. I have seen him out with other women.
She has told me that on numerous occasions he swears at her, calls her names and treats her like trash in front of his friends but she doesn’t seem to care. I want her to know that I am here for her but I don’t want to interfere. Is there someway to let her know that she’s in a dead end relationship? I want her to be happy but not with him.
~ Concerned
Dear Concerned:
You cannot rescue someone who doesn’t want to be rescued. It is her choice not yours if she wants to be treated like trash. Are you really interested in her best interests or yours? I’m wondering, is it possible that you might want her for yourself? It sounds like you want her to be happy with you.
If you get involved and cause a break up between these two, she will blame you and want nothing else to do with you. Your chances with her would definitely be over for sure. It is up to her to decide if this is a dead end relationship. If you are romantically interested in her, how long are you willing to wait? She has been with this guy for two years. Maybe she wants to be the wife of an NFL player. That thought might be exciting to her. At this point it doesn’t sound like she is ready to throw out the trash and you should stay out of this.
***Dr. Karen R. January is an expert in youth development as well as male-female relationships. Her new book, ¨Lessons Mama Never Taught Me,¨ profiles 10 women and the mistakes they made in parenting, love and life. It can be purchased at Amazon.com. Please send your questions to Dr. Karen at askdrjanuary@gmail.com.
Visit her website: www.drkaykay.com FB: drkayj Twitter: @drkjanuary
***Disclaimer “The advice offered in this column is not intended to replace or substitute for any professional, financial, medical, legal, or other professional advice. Dr. Karen January, the newspaper and publisher are not responsible for the outcome or results of following any advice in any given situation. You, and only you, are completely responsible for your actions.” Due to the large number of letters received, there is no guarantee that your question will be published.
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