Love is a beautiful thing. Being in love and having it reciprocated is even better. For many people, falling head over heels for someone and living happily ever after in marital bliss is a goal. It is also an expectation for their lives. Ideally, the blueprint, or master plan, is to marry your high school sweetheart after graduating from college or meet the love of your life while in college and then get married. Some have done just this, while others missed the mark but still dream of getting married and having a family as soon as possible.
Many people believe that there are many benefits of jumping the broom at an early age; you grow up together, you are in good health, you set and reach goals together, to name a few. But I cannot help but wonder if you cannot do these same things and more with your partner when you are older.
Living with certain mindsets allows people to place an age limit on themselves to have or do certain things. Existing in this realm can produce excessive personal pressure, which can create mental, physical, and emotional stress. In most cases, women desire to become a wife at an early age because of familial and societal coercion and religious beliefs. These influences often lead women (and men) to rush into complacent commitment to affirm self-worth or acceptance.
Ways Not to Discourage Older Loving
- Focus on the reasons you desire marriage. Make a list of all your reasons and think about how they will benefit you and your future spouse.
- Never tell yourself you are getting too old. It is better to grow older than face the alternative.
- Take time to understand the waiting period. There are reasons why marriage has not been placed in the cards for you, so make use of this time to gain an understanding of who you are.
- Focus on learning how to receive and reciprocate love.
- Love yourself the way you want someone to love you. If you are not your first love and show yourself the love you seek, how will you know when it is right?
- Do not allow others to shame you for being unmarried at any age. You will know when the time is right.
If all else fails, remember these reasons why it is okay to marry when you are older:
- Love and marriage do not have an expiration date. Both will always exist.
- Learning how to love someone at a mature age keeps you growing. If you are continually growing, then you are living life to the fullest.
- Everyone needs and deserves to be loved no matter what stage in life they are in.
- You are never too old for love.
Heart Check
If ever you become discouraged by the thought of not being married by a certain age, remember you are worth the wait, and so is the love of your life. It does not matter what are you decide to get married if you do what is best for you.
Contributing writer, Liz Lampkin is an author, speaker, and lifestyle writer. You can find her on social media @Lizlampkin.