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Being a Digital Marketing Specialist, social media is where I have to spend a great deal of time. All too often, I notice posts from the same few people who are ALWAYS spending time discussing their “haters”…and each time that I see a post like this, my eyes rolls. And I mean HARD.

Now, I’m not here to tell you how you should use your social media; that’s on you. But I had to write about the fact that there are way more insecure people out here than you could ever imagine. To assist in this theory, I took a brief poll on my InstaStories Monday. The question was “how much do you really love yourself?” 57 percent clicked on the “TONS!” button; an alarming 43 percent clicked on the “Working On It TBH” button (TBH stands for “to be honest”). One, I am glad that people are loving themselves and are confident in who they are! You never know what it may have taken for them to get there! Two, I am also glad that people are honest enough to admit that they could use more self-love, and that they are working on it. Of course, the people who make the consistent “haters” posts didn’t take the poll. You might be saying “oh maybe they just didn’t catch your story that day,” and I may be able to agree with you…if those SAME PEOPLE weren’t ones who also viewed the poll. Oops. Lol.

Let me give you three quick tips on how you can keep your insecurities in check:

1. Stop Dedicating Posts To Things That Don’t Matter. Sometimes, we are so quick to point out the behaviors of someone else, when it’s our own toxic behaviors or habits that we need to check. Your ego will have you thinking that people are sitting up somewhere discussing you–they’re not. I can easily sum it up like this: children have imaginary friends; adults have imaginary enemies. Fight the urge to give free press to the haters that could very well be in your head. Even if you have real ones…you know they’re watching you. So what?

2. If You Are Busy Working, You Won’t Have Time To Commit To Foolishness. Naysayers are doing their job. They are SUPPOSED to speak ill of what you have accomplished because they aren’t doing anything BUT sitting on the couch. The best way to stay focused on your goals? Don’t focus on the negative. If it isn’t helping me to succeed, doesn’t pay me for the work I’ve done, or grant me access to the places I desire to go; It’s doesn’t get free room and board in my brain. Say what you want; just make sure you spell my name right lol. That business you want to start? Start it. That book you want to read? Dig in. That blog you want to write? Get busy. Get caught working, not discussing the irrelevant.

3. Find Something That You Love About YOU And Focus On That. The best way to “fight the urge” to expose your insecurities? Figure out those things that you love about “you.” Listen, we ALL have insecurities about things–from our looks, where we feel we should be in life, relationship woes, and so much more. Some of us are just able to combat those feelings with

positive thinking and intentional acts of self-love. For YEARS, I was teased about my skin color, and it took me some time to fall in love with something that I could not change. I got used to thinking that God didn’t make a mistake when He created me, so I began falling in love with everything about me, while working on things that I COULD change. Plus, the positive family validation was always there (that’s an article for another day!).

Look inward before you make a post about what you THINK others are saying about you. It’s ok to be a little selfish sometimes and focus on yourself. And once people realize that they cannot ruffle your feathers, they have to move on.

Elle Smith

Visit Elle’s Digital Marketing Firm’s page at @prbyelle77_ and her Chicago Black Restaurant Week Page at @officialchicagobrw.

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