When You Need Some Advice Don’t Ask Twice… Ask Dr. Karen!
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Dear Dr. Karen:
My brother told me last night that his girlfriend is pregnant. He is 18 and she is 27. The shocker is he told me he was probably going to marry her, “because that’s the right thing do.” They have only been together 3 months. Within a month they had a pregnancy scare because she refused to use any form of birth control. She said, “it makes her sick.” I told him if this was true, he needed to at least wear a condom because having a baby at this time in his life would be a disaster. Well, he didn’t listen. When he informed me that I was going to be an “aunt,” I asked him if he was in love with her? He said love would come later. Is only concern is that a new life is going to be brought into this world.
He is such a clueless and gullible guy! He has always dated women who manipulate and use him! She does not have a job, lives at home and expects her parents to pay for everything. She is only with him because our family owns a successful business and he is financially stable.
I have told him that he doesn’t have to marry this woman to be a good father. If he is not in love, he has no business marrying her. It’s my belief she has done the classic jack move by trapping him. My brother is the baby in the family and now he feels he has a chance to prove to the world he is grown up!
Should I go along with this and keep my mouth shut? Or should I tell him what I think and hope he doesn’t make the biggest mistake of his life?
~ Baby Blues
Dear Baby Blues:
I hope you like the color blue. You might be talking to him until you are blue in the face. You want to know if you should say anything? Of course, you should. Let him know that planting a seed in a uterus, does not make him a man or a responsible father. Don’t talk to him or lecture with the expectation that he will change his mind. Just let him know that you care about him and don’t want to see him get hurt.
It sounds like he is about to step on the end of a rake hidden in the high grass, and the handle is going to come up and hit him right between the eyes. BAM! Sometimes, that is the only way a person will learn their lesson!
***Dr. Karen R. January is an expert in youth development as well as male-female relationships. Her new book, ¨Lessons Mama Never Taught Me,¨ profiles 10 women and the mistakes they made in parenting, love and life. It can be purchased at Amazon.com. Please send your questions to Dr. Karen at firstname.lastname@example.org.
***Disclaimer “The advice offered in this column is not intended to replace or substitute for any professional, financial, medical, legal, or other professional advice. Dr. Karen January, the newspaper and publisher are not responsible for the outcome or results of following any advice in any given situation. You, and only you, are completely responsible for your actions.” Due to the large number of letters received, there is no guarantee that your question will be published.