When You Need Some Advice Don’t Ask Twice… Ask Dr. Karen!
***To all my on-line readers, please continue to follow me on a new day. Look for Ask Dr Karen now every Wednesday. I would like to thank each and everyone of you for your continued support and the comments that you make.
Dear Dr. Karen:
I was married for 14 years to a man who was an undercover cop at a popular strip club. He would often bring home pictures of himself with strippers to show me. He told me these were real women that knew how to take care of a man.
I had many discussions about his familiarity and cheating with these strippers. Things did not get any better so I left him. The kids were older so I thought they would understand. My children did not understand my feelings and I was seen as the bad guy for destroying our family.
To get back at me my ex-husband told my children that he caught me in bed with someone. He also told them that my best friend and I were lesbians. Neither story was true. My son thinks I was unfaithful to his father and that he had no fault in the divorce. I never told them how he disrespected me by cheating with strippers.
~ Falsely Accused
Dear Falsely Accused:
As a police officer, your former husband knows better than to destroy a mother’s image in the eyes of her children. His lies reveal everything about who he is as a person. A mother teaches a girl what kind of woman to be and what kind of wife to be. A father teaches a boy what kind of man to be and what kind of husband to be.
Consider talking to a therapist You may not be able to change your ex’s behavior, but having someone to vent to and help you process your emotions will help you remain sane. Also, consider having your children see a therapist as well. A child or adolescent therapist can give your son or daughter a safe place to sort out their feelings about you and your ex.”
You’re not a bad parent. He’s just a bad cop!
***Dr. Karen R. January is an expert in youth development as well as male-female relationships. Her new book, ¨Lessons Mama Never Taught Me,¨ profiles 10 women and the mistakes they made in parenting, love and life. It can be purchased at Amazon.com. Please send your questions to Dr. Karen at firstname.lastname@example.org.
***Disclaimer “The advice offered in this column is not intended to replace or substitute for any professional, financial, medical, legal, or other professional advice. Dr. Karen January, the newspaper and publisher are not responsible for the outcome or results of following any advice in any given situation. You, and only you, are completely responsible for your actions.” Due to the large number of letters received, there is no guarantee that your question will be published.