When You Need Some Advice Don’t Ask Twice… Ask Dr. Karen!
Dear Dr. Karen:
My husband of four years has been arrested for the fourth time for domestic violence. This time he strangled me and for whatever reason I always take him back. I am sad and lonely and feel bad for him sitting in jail I feel like I have no life other than work. I have no family and few friends.
I think he hurts me because I argue with him and put him in a corner like a scared animal. He has to strike out at me to defend his manhood. Sometimes I don’t know if I want him to stay or go. How do I get out of this situation.
~ Love Lost
You feel bad for him because he’s jail? Will you feel bad for yourself when he tries to take your last breath? Love is never about hurting someone. Most of us get many chances to change our lives, but we’re not cats. We don’t get nine lives. There is a game called Russian Roulette and you are playing it very well.
You state that loneliness is weakening your ability to think. Hello! He is in jail because he tried to strangle you to death. Be thankful you have your work and friends. Not everyone has that. Most importantly, you have your life. That is something other women in your situation have lost.
Seek emotional support from a women’s domestic abuse group and get counseling. You can also contact The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800 779 safe.
***Dr. Karen R. January is an expert in youth development as well as male-female relationships. Her new book, ¨Lessons Mama Never Taught Me,¨ profiles 10 women and the mistakes they made in parenting, love and life. It can be purchased at Amazon.com. Please send your questions to Dr. Karen at firstname.lastname@example.org.
***Disclaimer “The advice offered in this column is not intended to replace or substitute for any professional, financial, medical, legal, or other professional advice. Dr. Karen January, the newspaper and publisher are not responsible for the outcome or results of following any advice in any given situation. You, and only you, are completely responsible for your actions.” Due to the large number of letters received, there is no guarantee that your question will be published.