When You Need Some Advice Don’t Ask Twice… Ask Dr. Karen
Dear Dr. Karen:
I have been in a wonderful relationship with my lady for three years. We own a home together and so far life is good. There is only one thing that is troubling me. She has gained weight, about thirty pounds to be exact. She is only 5’4” so this extra weight makes her look even bigger. When I first met her she was so petite and shapely. No, she is eating like food is her best friend and it shows.
I have encouraged her to lose weight by suggesting we work out together, eating healthier, not eating late at night and cutting out desserts. I have tried everything but nothing has worked. She will start a diet and then stop. She did join a fitness program but has only been three times in two months. I have talked to her so much that at times I become angry and lose my patience with her. Nothing is working. What else can I do? I’m becoming less and less attracted to her
~ Turned Off
Dear Turned Off:
I am turned off by your shallowness! In love you accept the other person as they are. The problem is you’re pushing too hard and she is resisting. She knows that she has gained weight. You don’t need to keep bringing it to her attention. She will lose the weight when she is mentally ready. She must do this for herself and not because you say so. You can never be successful at anything if your motivation is to satisfy someone else’s expectations.
You can suggest that she seek medical advice. This will determine if there is a thyroid problem, depression, or some other health issue that might be causing the weight gain. In the mean time stop harassing her and show your love and support instead. If the tables should ever turn and the shoe is on the other foot I hope she will be more accepting than you.
***Disclaimer “The advice offered in this column is not intended to replace or substitute for any professional, financial, medical, legal, or other professional advice. Dr. Karen January, the newspaper and publisher are not responsible for the outcome or results of following any advice in any given situation. You, and only you, are completely responsible for your actions.” Due to the large number of letters received, there is no guarantee that your question will be published.