When You Need Some Advice Don’t Ask Twice… Ask Dr. Karen!
Hope you enjoyed “LOVE WEEK” letters from The Chicago Defender Reader’s. Be sure to follow my column every Friday. Your comments are appreciated!
HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY…AND CELEBRATE LOVE EVERYDAY!
Dear Dr. Karen:
I just turned 18 years old. I work at major grocery store as a cashier. I have a crush on the produce manager. He is 46 years old, cute and single. I was thinking that Valentine’s Day might be a good time to let him know how I feel. Is this the right time to share my feelings?
~ Now or Never
Dear Now or Never:
You may have just turned 18 but you are still a little girl. How do I know? You said, “I have a crush on him.” That’s what little girls say. This man is 28 years older than you. What could you possibly have in common with him? What would you talk about? How fresh the produce is today? Did the price of tomatoes go up?
There are psychological risks involved with dating an older man and fitting into an adult world at your young age. Specifically, He may think he has a right to call the shots and control you and the relationship.
You could also be experiencing some unresolved father issues. The failure to get affection and praise from your father could cause you to seek these things in an older man. You just may be looking for someone to protect and take care of you.
You don’t know anything about this man other than he sprays vegetables for a living. I suggest you stay at your cash register and accept that this is just a schoolgirl’s crush.
***Dr. Karen R. January is an expert in youth development as well as male-female relationships. Her new book, ¨Lessons Mama Never Taught Me,¨ profiles 10 women and the mistakes they made in parenting, love and life. It can be purchased at Amazon.com. Please send your questions to Dr. Karen at firstname.lastname@example.org.
***Disclaimer “The advice offered in this column is not intended to replace or substitute for any professional, financial, medical, legal, or other professional advice. Dr. Karen January, the newspaper and publisher are not responsible for the outcome or results of following any advice in any given situation. You, and only you, are completely responsible for your actions.” Due to the large number of letters received, there is no guarantee that your question will be published.