When you need some advice don’t ask twice… Ask Dr. Karen!
Dear Dr. Karen:
I have been in a relationship with a jealous woman since July of this year. I swore by Thanksgiving I was going to end it. Christmas has come and gone and now the New Year is here. I kept thinking that things would change and she would stop her crazy behavior but things are not getting better they are getting worse.
A couple of weeks ago, I was with one of my cousins at the mall Christmas shopping. I heard somebody screaming my name and it was my girlfriend. She approached me angrily in the store and wanted to know about the woman I was with and who she was. Automatically, she accused me of having an affair. There was such a scene the security had to escort her out of the store. When she finally calmed down and I introduced my cousin to her; she felt like a fool.
No matter how much she apologized I was very upset and did not want to even talk to her anymore. I should have ended everything right there but because of the holidays and plans we had already made I decided to postpone the breakup. Not only that, I do care about this woman because she does have a lot of wonderful qualities that I like. I don’t know if I should go through another year with her jealous episodes. Do you think I should give her another chance?
~ Stay or Go
Dear Stay or Go:
You said things were not getting better. They were getting worse. What part of that don’t you get? People stay in relationships that go way beyond the expiration date. There are many reasons they do, such as fear of failure, being alone, starting over again in a new relationship, or the trauma that can go along with a breakup.
Ask yourself does this relationship bring out the best in you? Or, are you constantly being drained by it? You can give her as many chances that you would like. However, if there is constant arguing and the communication is poor, then a red flag should be waving madly in your face.
You said, you’ve already postponed this breakup because of Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s plans you made. How many more celebrations will it take for you to make a decision? If you’re trying to make Valentine’s Day plans then stay! If you don’t like the jealousy scenes and the drama that is associated with it, then go.
Until next week remember: “Never give advice unless you are asked for it”
***Disclaimer “The advice offered in this column is not intended to replace or substitute for any professional, financial, medical, legal, or other professional advice. Dr. Karen January, the newspaper and publisher are not responsible for the outcome or results of following any advice in any given situation. You, and only you, are completely responsible for your actions.” Due to the large number of letters received, there is no guarantee that your question will be published.
Dr. Karen R. January is an expert in youth development as well as male-female relationships. Her new book, ¨Lessons Mama Never Taught Me,¨ profiles 10 women and the mistakes they made in parenting, love and life. It can be purchased at Amazon.com. Please send your questions to Dr. Karen at firstname.lastname@example.org.