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Dear Gwendolyn:
I have a problem. My boyfriend and I broke up due to the fact that he was cheating on me. I didn’t tell him that I knew he was cheating and now I have it all stuck on my heart and mind. I would like to tell him how I feel and let hi

Dear Gwendolyn: I have a problem. My boyfriend and I broke up due to the fact that he was cheating on me. I didn’t tell him that I knew he was cheating and now I have it all stuck on my heart and mind. I would like to tell him how I feel and let him know so I can heal.

Do you think it is the right thing for me to let him know? He also disrespected my parents when we broke up by calling them profane names etc.

He is now banned from ever even coming over. Do you think that I should meet him maybe in the library or somewhere just to tell him everything that is on my heart?

He has not called or anything since Wednesday, but he sent an email saying he was sorry. However, he only apologized to my mother and not my father. They didn’t get along because my father felt he wasn’t good enough for me.

Gwendolyn, I just want to heal and get everything that I feel off of my heart. I am 21, and my boyfriend was 22. Our relationship was not intimate. I believe in waiting until marriage although he has two children already. We dated for 10 months.

-Alice

Dear Alice: Ten months? Girl, I thought you were 40 ending a relationship of 10 years. Let me tell you this. Do not make an attempt to contact your boyfriend to let him know your feelings and broken heart. Apparently, he cheated on you because you have a firm belief to wait until marriage.

That’s good. But what you don’t understand is that a man can have an active sexual life–and still go out and cheat. Another thing you don’t understand is many men like to meet a virgin and then set a goal to be her first.

You sent me a separate correspondence explaining that you had to quit school (doctor’s advice) due to having a seizureáthat was brought on by a stroke because you were stressed out over your relationship. My advice to you, Alice, is to focus on your health, and when you have recovered from your illness, return to school–with your doctor’s approval of course.

Alice, whether a 10-month relationship or 2- or 3-year relationship, it hurts just the same, and I understand that. However, you are young, and the world can be yours if you make the right choices. And believe me, trying to meet your ex would not be fitting and proper, forget him.

*** Write to Gwendolyn Baines at: P. O. Box 10066, Raleigh, N.C. 27605-0066 (to receive a reply, send a self-addressed stamped envelope) or email her at: gwenbaines@hotmail.com or visit her website at: http://www.gwenbaines.com

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