When You Need Some Advice Don’t Ask Twice… Ask Dr. Karen!
***To all my on-line readers, I would like to thank each and everyone of you for your continued support and your comments. They are appreciated and valued.
Dear Dr. Karen:
I am a 29-year-old male and have been in a great relationship for six years, this summer would have been seven. The only issue was my reluctance to commit to marriage and children.
I have never been married and I believe my problem committing to marriage has to do with my older brothers’ experiences. Both of them went through messy divorces with children involved.
Many times over the last few years the question of marriage and children has been brought up. Each time I changed the subject or put down the idea saying I didn’t know or I’m not ready. I know now how much that hurt her. She asked the question again two months ago and little did I know it would be for the last time.
I have had time to reflect on my situation and I am ready to ask her to marry me. I don’t want to lose her. I have sent letters, been to her house and left her messages on the phone. She has not responded to anything. Someone told me that if I persist too hard I might push her away. So, for the past few weeks I have not contacted her. Every minute that goes by is like a year. I’m having a hard time and can’t let go.
Dear Lost Love:
Obviously you’re not having a hard enough time! If you were you would have bought a ring and gone to her on bended knee begging.
When a relationship like yours goes on for years and years without engagement or marriage, one of the parties loses interest in going to the next level.
When a man wants something, he wants something. He wants to make it his own. You didn’t want to make her your own bad enough and she knows it. Give her back her life. If you really care about her, let her go. Seemingly, she has moved on.
*** Do men have more of a commitment problem when it comes to marriage? Or, do women have the same issues?
Dr. Karen R. January is an expert in youth development as well as male-female relationships. Her book, ¨Lessons Mama Never Taught Me,¨ profiles 10 women and the mistakes they made in parenting, love and life. It can be purchased at Amazon.com. Please send your questions to Dr. Karen at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Visit her website: www.drkaykay.com
Disclaimer “The advice offered in this column is not intended to replace or substitute for any professional, financial, medical, legal, or other professional advice. Dr. Karen January, the newspaper and publisher are not responsible for the outcome or results of following any advice in any given situation. You, and only you, are completely responsible for your actions.” Due to the large number of letters received there is no guarantee that your question will be published.