I am 30 years old and I have a major problem in my life. I have been with my girlfriend for 13 years and we have two boys together. I recently got into some trouble and was given 18 years in prison.
Dear Gwendolyn: I am 30 years old, and I have a major problem in my life. I have been with my girlfriend for 13 years, and we have two boys together. I recently got into some trouble and was given 18 years in prison. I love my woman, and I know I will someday go home, but 18 years can be a long time for a woman to wait. We often talk about raising our grandchildren and growing old together. However, I feel like I am putting her life on hold. Should I tell her to leave or do I tell her to stay? What do I do?
I agree. Eighteen years will seem like a lifetime, but it is to be her call–not yours. You state that you feel you are putting her life on hold. No, she will be putting her own life on hold. You also ask should you tell her to leave or tell her to stay. Again, that’s her call.
Let me tell you this: For this seemingly booming relationship to continue, it will depend on many things, and love may have nothing to do with it. If your girlfriend decides to remain in your life until you are released, then she would still need to go on with her life. By this I mean become educated so she would be able to provide for the children since you can’t. You are young now, but later you will realize that years move quickly. John, whatever she tells you, accept it. If she doesn’t want to wait, then so be it.
Women are warm and have tender hearts. To have a man locked up for 18 years would not be easy. Think about it. In the darkness of the night, after the end of a long day, you wouldn’t be able to give her a kiss or a hug.
Write to Gwendolyn Baines at: P. O. Box 10066, Raleigh, N.C. 27605- 0066 or e-mail her at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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