Dear Gwen: My family thinks I am their bank!

Dear Gwendolyn:
Five years ago I became a medical doctor and opened my clinic in a small mid-western town. I was able to secure a loan and hired the best staff I could find. Gwendolyn, out of eight children I was the only one to make a success with my li

Dear Gwendolyn: Five years ago I became a medical doctor and opened my clinic in a small mid-western town. I was able to secure a loan and hired the best staff I could find. Gwendolyn, out of eight children, I was the only one to make a success with my life. In the family are three drug addicts, three alcoholics, and one (well, I don’t know what to call him). They are adults and have all been married but divorced. They now all live in the family home that was left by my parents. My parents worked hard for their home and wanted to pass it down to their children. My problem is: Every other day for the last five years I have had to send money for their upkeep. I pay the fire insurance, and I pay the taxes. This past summer, the city gave them a citation to cut the grass or it would be cut by the city maintenance and a lien placed on the house. When I got the news, I hired a small company to cut the grass. Out of being proud, three years ago I told them my salary. Now they are taking me for a bank. -Rosalyn

Dear Rosalyn: Your problem is experienced by many. Often you hear of siblings all doing well; a doctor, a lawyer, a school teacher, an executive or an entrepreneur. But the usual is as you mentioned, one doing something and the others not even making an effort. Let me tell you this: Stop immediately sending money. Continue to pay the taxes and possibly the upkeep of maintenance. If they are to continue living there, let them survive on their own. Their marriages probably failed because of their ill-responsibility to being an adult. Think about it. As long as you provide for them, they will never provide for themselves. I don’t quite know what you were thinking when you told them your salary. Rosalyn, never tell relatives your salary. And another thing, they are not taking you for a bank. They are taking you for a fool.

Got a problem? Write to Gwendolyn Baines at: P. O. Box 10066, Raleigh, N.C. 27605-0066; e-mail her at: gwenbaines@hotmail.com; or visit her website at: www.gwenbaines.com.

Copyright 2008 Chicago Defender. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.

Comments

From the Web

X
X