Dear Chat Daddy, My man just keeps running in and out of my life!

Dear Chat Daddy,
I’m a 27-year-old female who is the mother of two small children. My father disappeared from my life when I was 7 years old and then returned again when I was 12.

Dear Chat Daddy, I’m a 27-year-old female who is the mother of two small children. My father disappeared from my life when I was 7 years old and then returned again when I was 12. My children’s father is practically doing the same thing, and it is really hurtful because I don’t want them to experience what I had to go through. He is in and out of our lives and our relationship is up and down constantly. Chat Daddy, I can’t understand why men breeze in and out of my life. Please help. – My Many Insecurities With Daddy

Dear My Many Insecurities With Daddy, It seems to me that the love you have been looking for has never materialized in your life: to have love from a father. Having the right balance of nurturing in your life is important. However, with your children’s father, some people in your life need to be loved from a distance because they don’t know how to accept true love without strings being attached. Girl, just chalk it up to a learning experience, and begin to heal the wounds from your childhood in the process. Sometimes, women tend to deal with men who emulate the behavioral patterns of their fathers because, as adults, they are still looking to be “daddy’s little girl.” I would definitely suggest that you stay prayerful, and take time for yourself and not worry too much about hooking up with someone as of now. Focus your time and energy on becoming the woman you need to be for yourself as well as your children. Be encouraged.

Dear Chat Daddy, I am a 37-year-old man who is having a huge issue with women. I’ve been divorced for over two years, and getting back on the dating scene hasn’t been easy for me. I’ve been dating this one young lady for about three months now, and I really care about her deeply. The problem is that lately I’ve been noticing that she is always very draining, needy and negative all the time–just like my ex-wife. I can’t understand why I tend to always keep dealing with the same type of women. I think my exwife has put a curse on me. Please advise. -Always Finding Reminders Of You

Dear Always Finding Reminders Of You, Wow, I hope your ex-wife has not put a curse on you. But if you step back just a bit from this relationship, you will be amazed at what you can accomplish when you let go of your ex and the marriage or at least minimize your time with people who are draining, negative and incompatible. First of all, I would suggest that you take a long look at yourself. We attract what we are, plain and simple. If you keep gravitating towards these types of women, there must be something within you that needs to be worked on as soon as possible. It may be a good idea to pull away for a moment and re-evaluate everything. Taking time for yourself is always good when it comes to seeing things without rose colored glasses. That way you can make a clear and concise decision, in terms of your relationship. Be encouraged.

Art “Chat Daddy” Sims can be reached via e-mail at chatdaddy@chicagodefender.com

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