When You Need Some Advice Don’t Ask Twice… Ask Dr. Karen!  

***To all my on-line readers, please continue to follow me on a new day. Look for Ask Dr Karen now every Wednesday. I would like to thank each and everyone of you for your continued support and the comments that you make.  


Dear Dr. Karen:

Ladies, there are some initial dating tips that we should follow: Keep an air of mystery, make him come to you, leave them wanting more, do not get physical and for heaven’s sake don’t tell them you love them. This week’s reader broke all the rules.

Dear Dr. Karen:

A friend decided that he wanted our relationship advance to a sexual/dating level. This was probably his objective when we first started hanging out, however, I could not picture us together. He was not my type, and the age difference was huge (15 years). The more we were together it seemed like I started looking at him differently.

Well, we started sleeping together and I made the mistake of saying that I loved him. Soon after, we started the cycle of breaking up, just being friends, getting back together, having sex and breaking up again. A few weeks ago, we broke up for good. I’m hoping he’ll realize what a good woman I am and call me!

                                                           ~   Heartbroken

Dear Heartbroken:

So, you think his objective was to advance to a sexual level? You already knew that. Friendship was never his objective.

The chase is always the most exciting part for a man and you gave him that (the sex). If that wasn’t bad enough, you professed your love to him and then he dropped you like a hot potato.

Your goal should be to want someone you love and who loves you in a mutually exclusive relationship leading to marriage, If that’s what you want. You were going nowhere with this man. Grab a Kleenex, dry your eyes and move on.

Are there some dating rules that you follow? Ladies, I’d like to hear them. Men, I bet you have some too!

 ***Dr. Karen R. January is an expert in youth development as well as male-female relationships.  Her new book, ¨Lessons Mama Never Taught Me,¨ profiles 10 women and the mistakes they made in parenting, love and life.  It can be purchased at  Please send your questions to Dr. Karen at

Visit her website:  FB: drkayj  Twitter: @drkjanuary

***Disclaimer “The advice offered in this column is not intended to replace or substitute for any professional, financial, medical, legal, or other professional advice. Dr. Karen January, the newspaper and publisher are not responsible for the outcome or results of following any advice in any given situation. You, and only you, are completely responsible for your actions.” Due to the large number of letters received, there is no guarantee that your question will be published.

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