Kevin’s words cut me deep and ignited an argument between us that lasted for at least two hours. Kevin and I went back and forth on what going out meant to each of us and why anything related to work wasn’t something he wanted to attend. We decided to hit pause on the conflict, go home, get some rest and we’d tackle this chat again over the weekend. (I had to get up for working in the morning and I wasn’t about to scream at this man all night about my intentions of taking him to a work event).
On Saturday, I called Kevin to invite him out to a museum exhibit. He didn’t pick up the phone, so I texted him. He didn’t respond, so I decided to go out with my friends instead (after waiting 8 hours). The entire time I was at the museum, I checked my phone, to no avail. Kevin hadn’t called nor texted me back. *sigh* My friends and I went out for drinks after the museum and three drinks in, tipsy started hitting me and my phone lit up. It was Kevin. I ignored it. Five minutes later, it lights up again. This time, I chose to pick it up.
“Hey Kevin,” I said, with more enthusiasm than anger.
“Hey baby,” Kevin said with a smile in his voice. “What are you doing?”
“I’m out with my friends. What’s up?”
“See, this is what I am talking about. You don’t ever want to spend your free time with me,” Kevin started in on an unexpected rant, even though I thought I should be the one going off because I tried to reach him several times all day. He continued, “I tried to be understanding with your job. I know it’s a lot you always have to do, but then I never get your free time…”
“Wait a minute! I called you today! I wanted to hang out with you…” I started to explain.
“I can see that you’re never going to put me first. There’s always going to be something else in your life that gets your time and attention. I can’t keep trying so hard to be in your life if you don’t want me there,” Kevin stated in the most dramatic fashion he could muster.
“Kevin…” I started, about to beg him to hear me out, but then I got fed up from constantly having to explain myself or justify my actions to a man I’d only been seeing for three months. I was beginning to get into these arguments with Kevin almost everyday and more often than not, there was no resolve. I continued, “Kevin, you can’t be first in my life. Not yet. There’s my family, friends, work, my physical health…so many things that I honestly do care about more than you…for now. You’re just getting into my life…”
Kevin cut me off, “Like I said, I can’t be with someone who doesn’t have what it takes to make me number one.”
Maybe it was the liquid courage, or maybe it was the weariness I felt from the constant arguing, but I’d had enough and I hung up.
Kevin and I have spoken since that intense conversation and have done nothing but argue each time that we chat. He’s unwavering on his desire to be the number one thing in my life and he’s not willing to understand that he can’t have that position…yet.
Have you ever called it quits because your significant other didn’t place you in your desired rank in their life? Let’s chat @Rhapsodani.
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