I woke up Friday morning and didn’t even finish thanking Jesus, before I purchased Beyonce’s latest project, her self-titled visual album “Beyonce.” The 32-year-old mom outdid herself and not only gave fans 14 brand new songs, but 17 videos to accompany them. King Bey truly proved why she’s deserving of the crown.
But after a few listens, fans heard a new Beyonce– a sexier Beyonce, a Beyonce who asked the driver to roll up the partition so he wouldn’t see her please her husband, kind of Beyonce. This accompanied with close-up shots of her and Jay Z in the back seat with him rubbing her thighs and peeking at her breast made her lyrics all too real.
I, who was in full support of this new fuller, sexed up Mrs. Carter, took to my Facebook and posted this:
Before any of you say a damn thing, remember Beyonce is a grown woman, who has been married to her man for five years and been with him for like 17 (I kid). She is WELL within her right to be as sexual, raunchy, erotic and down-right filthy because you know what? She’s doing it with her HUSBAND!
About 15 minutes later, about 10 of my friends hit the “LIKE” button. However, a fellow Hampton University graduate didn’t seem to share my sentiments.
Sorry. It’s too late. She should’ve been this way before the baby. She’s going with the trend right now but it’s just too late.
“It’s too late?” Those three words left me hurt, angry and confused. To say that Beyonce’s new sexual demeanor is too late to be on display lends itself to the belief there’s a timetable with which a woman is allowed to be sexual, and the sexual deadline is motherhood.
I’m not a mother, so therefore my vantage point doesn’t come from that of being responsible for another life. But I am a woman, and as a 28-year-old woman I can confidently say the closer I get to my 30s, the sexier I feel.
When I was in my 20s, I hadn’t defined sexy for myself; I still haven’t worked out all the details just yet, but early on, my definition was primitive. It was a force-fed regurgitated societal definition which I, in turn, digested to mean getting my nipples pierced (because I thought that was sexy and cool) and showing as much skin as possible, without getting whopped by my momma.
Fast forward a few years sans the nipple rings, I realize that my sexy is just beginning to blossom. How much would that suck if I had a baby in a year or two, and I would be expected to turn it off?
“It’s just too late…” I kept replaying those words. I was even more baffled at the fact these rules, regulations and restrictions were placed on Beyonce’s sexuality not by a man, but by a woman! This isn’t to beat my fellow Hampton grad over the head, she has her opinion and she’s well within her right to express that, but there are a lot of people (male and female) who feel the need to police a woman’s sexual behavior.
To say Beyonce is following the same trend that encourages Miley to straddle a wrecking ball naked, Rihanna to pose nude for countless magazine covers and Nicki Minaj’s sexed up dominatrix police officer Halloween costume, is absurd because sex will always be the new black.
The issue at hand isn’t her sexiness, it’s that Beyonce’s yielding her sexual prowess on her own terms. Society feels better when a man expresses his sexual desire and conquests. When a rapper brags about “beating it up,” we praise him, and even dance along if the beat is right. But when Beyonce, a married woman, performs a striptease for her husband, sings about pleasing her husband and the four-play that took place in the foyer with (wait for it) her husband, sweet Jesus it’s a fire!
Maybe after giving birth, Beyonce felt a bigger sense of accomplishment and pride in her body than ever before? She’s 32, so maybe she’s hitting her stride, becoming more comfortable with her body and herself, or dammit, maybe she’s having good sex, in which I then say, “look at gawd!”
Listen, there will be some women who agree with that Hampton grad and think Beyonce’s new attitude isn’t appropriate for a mom. But I don’t want anyone telling me when I need to send my sexy off to the graveyard to go and die, especially when I’m just getting started. Yes Beyonce, you embrace your sexy because I have.
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