Before we dive into the minutiae of specifics, we bring you the awe-inspiring pose given by Desmond Bryant during his mugshot photoshoot (via Victor Cotto):
I guess this is how he says “cheese.”
If you have the odd feeling that you have seen this pose before, Bleacher Report’s Matt King is here to help in this tweet:
Now comes the all-important quandary of what the hell is actually going on here.
The details behind Bryant’s arrest are a little fuzzy, so we don’t know if this is the adorable face of the extremely inebriated, the mug of someone trying to be funny or a picture of someone who doesn’t know how to smile.
The San Francisco Chronicle reports on the Raiders defensive tackle, who was arrested on Sunday on a misdemeanor charge of criminal mischief:
After allegedly going to a neighbor’s house inebriated and causing a commotion, Bryant was booked at 9:24 a.m., according to Miami-Dade County records. A police report wasn’t available.
Bryant was held on $1,000 bail.
Well, that explains the photo a little. Still, we like to think that even at our worst, we might be able to fashion a halfway decent smile.
Bryant will become an unrestricted free agent on March 12, and Yahoo! Sports reminds us this is hardly the best time to get nice and toasty before taking a little trip to a neighbor’s house.
He is coming off a season in which he “started only eight of 16 games…but played in over 60 percent of the snaps and posted four sacks and figures to draw some interest on the free-agent market.”
That is, until he made a cameo at a Miami-Dade police station looking like a confused June “Mama” Shannon.
Now we leave it to you wonderful denizens of the Internet to get going on the Desmond Bryant derp memes, because they are sure to be wonderful.