Dear Chat Daddy, My husband and I do not approve of our 27-year-old daughter’s relationship with a guy she met while away attending medical school. He’s 30 years old, has three children, unemployed, is not in school and lives with his mother.
Dear Chat Daddy,
My husband and I do not approve of our 27-year-old daughter’s relationship with a guy she met while away attending medical school. He’s 30 years old, has three children, unemployed, is not in school and lives with his mother. When she recently came home to visit she announced to her father and me that this guy wants her to quit school for a year so he can marry her. She only has two more years to go before she graduates from medical school. He is constantly telling her that he’s got her back and not to worry while lavishing her with expensive gifts, and when we ask her where he gets the money to do that, she gives us a lame excuse. Truth be told, we feel that he is involved in something shady and it scares us because we don’t want her involved in any kind of bad influence that may stunt her promising career as a doctor. My husband and I have questioned him about his career goals and future endeavors, but he doesn’t give us a suitable response as to where he sees himself in years to come. We love her so much and try our best to convince her that she can find so much better, but to no avail. How do we convince our daughter that she is giving herself to someone who is not worthy of her time and affection?
-But I Love Him
Dear But I Love Him,
Sounds like a hot mess is brewing in this relationship. How unfortunate that your daughter has come this far to get caught up in this type of situation. However, you do realize that opposites do attract? Because your daughter is headed in the right direction oftentimes people tend to develop a flavor for something totally opposite of what they’re used to. Your concerns are very valid and I definitely understand them. I suggest that the three of you sit down and lovingly discuss the issue. Explain to her the consequences of getting involved with young men with no dreams and plans for himself. As you may know, she’s most likely dealing with him because of the stress of school, and he is heavily applying strong romantic feelings towards her that are in overdrive. Try talking to her about sticking to her goal while seeking guys with the same type of goals and aspirations she has, and stress the importance of surrounding herself with like-minded individuals. Here’s to her making all of her dreams and goals come true without settling for less in the process and to her meeting a young man who is filled with positive energy and is focused on succeeding. Be encouraged.
Copyright 2009 Chicago Defender. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.