Dear Chat Daddy, It’s been 11 years and my man hasn’t left his wife yet

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Dear Chat Daddy, I’m a 39-year-old female who’s been living with the same guy for 11 years now. He is everything I could want in a potential husband but there’s one small problem, he’s still married.

Dear Chat Daddy,

I’m a 39-year-old female who’s been living with the same guy for 11 years now. He is everything I could want in a potential husband, but there’s one small problem. HHe’s still married. When we met, he was separated from his wife and their only child. Because he had just come out of that relationship, I didn’t put any pressure on him about us being in a committed, long-term relationship. Well here we are 11 years later, and he’s recently been complaining that I’m not the same woman he met. I must admit, Chat Daddy, that sometimes I’m not as affectionate as I can be or as I was when we first hooked up. I thought he would take care of his business, but here we are in 2009 and he’s still married. Now his wife is finally taking him to child support court at the end of this month. I love him, but I’m tired of holding on to his past, which still looks like a present matter.

-Will You Ever Handle Your Business

Dear Will You Ever Handle Your Business,

Great letter, sister, but why in the world would you let this mess go on for this long? This relationship is not looking so hopeful. If your guy had gotten out of his marriage legally when you first met then maybe this story would have a much brighter outlook. I hate to be the one to tell you this but he is still legally married to his wife–his son’s mother–so I’m sure there’s still something between them, more than the child, that has kept them both from moving on with their lives. For the past 11 years, you have provided him with a comfort zone so he has not had to face his issues. My best advice is for you and him to have a heart-to-heart about his future and the ultimate direction you want to take for your life, with or without him, but a choice must be made soon and hopefully not another 11 years from now. Stop wasting time. Move on while encouraging yourself.

______

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