Dear Chat Daddy, I want her, but she says I’m just a friend

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Dear Chat Daddy, I’m a 40-year-old Black man who has always been about his business. I’ve had a successful career in law enforcement for 12 years now and I pretty much enjoy a very fulfilling life. Six months ago, I met a woman to whom I have

Dear Chat Daddy,

I’m a 40-year-old Black man who has always been about his business. I’ve had a successful career in law enforcement for 12 years now, and I pretty much enjoy a very fulfilling life. Six months ago, I met a woman to whom I have become very emotionally attached and can really see myself marrying. She is a 44-year-old accomplished woman, but there is only one problem: She has been married three times and is not interested in getting married again. When we are together, we really enjoy each other’s company but most of our time is spent in bed having sex. When I ask about where we stand in this relationship, she cuts me down and tells me that we are only friends and nothing serious is to become of this relationship. Chat Daddy, I’m hoping that she will change her mind because I am in love and I want us to be together. I know that she’s been hurt before. Please help me because I don’t want to miss out on who I think is my chosen wife.

-I Want To Be Your Real Husband

Dear I Want To Be Your Real Husband,

Brother, it seems to me you’ve fallen in love with a damaged woman. I understand the need for companionship and romance, but I feel that you are being a bit too hasty in this situation. Six months is not a lot of time for you to get to know someone and you can never change someone–ever. Who they are in the beginning is who they are. This woman has told you that you are just a friend to her–nothing more, nothing less–and the fact that she has been married three times already should be all the signs you need. So why are you wasting your precious time and energy on someone who only sees you as a bed buddy? It’s going to take some time, but cut your losses and move on because she is not the woman you are looking for. Spend time focusing on you and what makes you happy, and trust me, one day you will look up and the woman of your heart, mind and soul will be right in front of your face. Be encouraged.

Art “Chat Daddy” Sims can be reached via e-mail at chatdaddy@chicagodefender.com.

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