Dear Chat Daddy, My man wanted space, so he just dumped me!

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Dear Chat Daddy,
I am a 30-year-old female who was in what I thought was going to be a committed, loving relationship until recently when my boyfriend announced that he needed more space. One day we had a heated conversation about our relationship, after

Dear Chat Daddy, I am a 30-year-old female who was in what I thought was going to be a committed, loving relationship until recently when my boyfriend announced that he needed more space. One day we had a heated conversation about our relationship, afterwards he just disappeared and I have not heard from him since. He and my sister are actually co-workers, and when she confronted him about the abrupt ending of our relationship, he replied that I was too needy and was not allowing him to do his man thing, such as hanging with his boys. I feel as though my man should always be with me and why should he be around his so-called friends all the time? I really do miss him and want him back. Please advise. -He Just Walked Out

Dear He Just Walked Out, To tell you the truth, you sound like you may be a bit insecure. Insecurity in relationships is one of the leading factors of break ups. While it is extremely important to spend quality time with your mate, it is just as essential to allow one another to breathe. Men do not like to deal with nagging and conflict because it is such a headache. Men need to be with other men. It is called male bonding, and the sooner you realize this notion, the better off you will be. As for your relationship, I would suggest that if it is possible for you to have one last conversation with him, do so. If he is not open to your relationship resuming, then you may have to take this as a learning experience and move on. Be encouraged.

Dear Chat Daddy, I am an 18-year-old woman in my freshman year of college. My boyfriend of two years is really starting to make me question our relationship. Every time we get ready to have sex, he is always trying to get me to drink and experiment with marijuana and sometimes cocaine. Before we met, I was a virgin, but I fell in love with him fast and want to please him. But I am not into alcohol and drugs. I love him with my heart and soul, and I don’t want to lose him. Please help. -It Will Relax You

Dear It Will Relax You, Drugs, alcohol and sex do not mix, especially in this day and age of HIV/AIDS. I understand that you do love him, but you both need to understand that a healthy and nurturing relationship does not have to involve substance abuse. You need to have a serious talk with your boyfriend about his destructive ways. If he is as into you as you are into him, then there is no way that he would try to force things upon you that you are not comfortable with. Your main concern should be your grades, self-improvement and being able to pass a drug test once you seek and commence employment. Be encouraged.

Art “Chat Daddy” Sims can be reached via e-mail at chatdaddy@chicagodefender.com.

Copyright 2008 Chicago Defender. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.

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