My son is broken, can I fix him?

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Dear Chat Daddy,

I’m a 50-year-old woman who is really upset over the current course that my life has taken. I feel as if I am to blame for all of the bad things that have hap-pened in my 30-year-old son’s life. I did my best to raise him in a loving C

He dropped out of school at the age of 15, he has been addicted to drugs for over 10 years and has been in and out of jail several times. In reality, I know he is a lost cause but because he is my only child, I just can’t move on. I have lost my home and car paying legal fees for him with all of his issues. Chat Daddy, how do I move on with my life without feeling as if I betrayed my only son?

-He Just Chose A Different Path

Dear He Just Chose A Different Path,

It seems to me that your son’s soul and spirit has been broken for such a long time now, that he may just be completely gone. Sad, but true. In order for you to begin healing, you must stop feeling as if you are the one to blame for all of your son’s actions because you’re not. The more you blame yourself, the deeper you will sink. What has hap-pened to your son are his own personal circum-stances that he needs to deal with and not yours. Making changes in your life means changing things that don’t please you any more. Your number one responsibility now is to find peace for yourself first before you can find the energy to save someone else. Here’s to you finding a new place in your life that will offer you a beautiful harvest of tranquility while your continue to pray for your son to become whole again.

Dear Chat Daddy,

I am a 32-year-old female who has been on my job for over 15 years, own my own home. I have been in a on-and-off live-in relationship with my man and over the last 10 years, I have been through all sorts of drama with him. Every time I bring up the subject of improving our relationship with the hopes of marriage, his comment to me is always, ‘Girl you are tripping. I’ve told you I’m really not ready, because I’m still trying to get myself together.’ Chat Daddy, I keep telling him that something needs to change in our relationship. He then tells me that I am making too much of wanting to change our relationship. Please help.

-Just How Should I Begin To Clean House?

Dear Just How Should I Begin To Clean House?,

My advice is simple%uFFFDStop playing house! This man is not trying to be a full time husband. Sister girl, you must wake up. Start getting in tune with who you are on a more personal level, this will allow your soul the chance to sort out what is right and what is wrong with this relationship. If he has not changed in ten years then I think it is time for you to move on and get on with your life. Any man who tells you, “I’m really not ready,” means what he says.

Often times so many sisters tend to ignore their truthful statements because they are so happy just to have a man. Here’s to you both learning the true meaning of a healthy family life on a much higher level; one that’s built on love and understanding while learning how to gracefully move on if you’re not on the same page.

______ Copyright 2008 Chicago Defender. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed. á

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